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Ultimate List Of Punny Jokes That Will Make Your Day
These funny jokes are the punniest jokes you'll ever find. Needy a cheesy joke, a dad joke, or a knock-knock joke? You'll have a good laugh reading through this list of punny jokes. We've got clever and bad puns, so stick around for plenty of laughs!
5 Best Pun-Based Jokes That Will Make You Laugh And Cringe
You'll have a good laugh and cringe at these pun-based jokes. You can use these as icebreaker jokes to get better acquainted with someone or just have a blast telling a funny joke to everyone you meet. I guarantee you'll find a good pun in this list!
1. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Ever wonder why the month of February is so short? It's that guy's fault. If you think deeper, you'll notice that some months only have thirty days instead of thirty-one. Does that mean he took those days off, too?
2. I've written a song about tortillas. Actually, it's more of a rap.
Mmm, delicious tortillas. I love myself a good pita as well. What are your favorite fillings? Do you top it off with shredded cheese at the end and close it tight? If so, that's a wrap!
3. My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. She had a history of violins.
She also had a history of fiddle-ing with other stringed instruments. Her favorite greeting to use was "Cello! How are you?" And she loved to harp on me about how badly her day went. I'm so glad we went our separate ways.
4. Do you know what kind of tea is the hardest to swallow? Reality.
There are plenty of shops in real life whose names are based on tea puns. Does making puns out of tea make you thirsty? Either way, I'd advise against drinking this tea. Reali-tea is a bitter drink, after all.
5. My job is pretty secure. No one else wants it.
I love my job at the company. I get to climb up the ranks at my leisure, and nobody wants to take it from me. Why is it so secure? It's because it's a security company, of course.
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5 Corny Punny Jokes That Are Guaranteed To Make You Laugh
These quirky jokes are guaranteed to make you and your friends laugh. Is it any wonder that they're good for parties? Whether you love silly jokes or hate them, they'll make the mood light, playful, and wonderfully enjoyable.
6. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? She felt crummy.
Crummy cookies and crackers create crumbs. It's no wonder they feel like they're crummy - the crumbs are everywhere! Make sure to get checked at a doctor if you also feel crummy.
7. I have an addiction to cheddar cheese. But it's only mild.
Everyone has an addiction to cheese! Cheese makes (almost) anything better. But be careful - not all addictions are mild... some of them are blue. Stinky blue cheese!
8. I used to want to be a historian. Then I realized there was no future in it.
Is it sad that it's still true and relatable in real life? Historians don't have any future plans because their plans were all in the past. Better give them a present, at least.
9. What did the Zero say to the eight? "Nice belt!"
Eight must be wearing an extra tight belt - there's barely any room in the middle! They look incredibly slim, though, so they look much more attractive than Zero.
10. Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.
Think about it: they must be so good at hiding in trees that they don't ever do it. Clearly, elephants are some form of stealthy ninja, able to hide in trees and evade detection. Scary thought, isn't it?
5 "What Do You Call?" Punny Jokes That Will Definitely Make You Think
What do you call a joke that's prominently featured in this list? A punny joke, of course. These "what do you call" jokes make you think, and even if you guess wrong, you'll still have fun and laugh at the answer.
So, what do you call a person who loves these jokes?
11. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
There should be a cartoon about an alligator who wears a vest and investigates. And has a jazz theme song for its opening. Here's a bonus joke: What do you call men in a vest? An investment, of course.
12. What do you call a piece of toast at the zoo? Bread in captivity.
But what kind of bread is it? Is it a thorough-bread focaccia? A local-bread ciabatta? We need to know how pure the bread bloodline is. PS: Do not feed the bread. It bites.
13. What do you call someone who has seen an iPhone being stolen? An iWitness!
iWitness testimony places the iPhone thief at the crime scene on the night it happened. What does the defendant plead? "iAmNotGuilty!" Your Honor, I rest my case.
14. What do you call a fight between celebrity actors? Star Wars
Better hope they don't form an Empire out of these celebrities, or the Empire will truly strike back. Or form a legion of celebrity clones that attack. Either way, will you join the Light or the Dark side?
15. What do you call two people who rob clothes shops? A pair of knickers!
Beware: knickers often come in pairs. If you see a pair of thieves in the night, they won't just settle for raiding your underwear drawer; they'll also take your favorite shoes. The fiends!
5 Laugh Out Loud With This Bad Funny Puns
Bad jokes can come with their own puns as well! These funny bad jokes are designed to make you laugh out loud, no matter where you are or when you hear them. So, let loose with these bad puns that are surprisingly good at being funny!
16. I knew a woman who owned a taser. Man, was she stunning!
I also knew a woman who owned a baseball bat. Man, was she striking! What about a woman who runs a candy shop? Sweet! Or a woman who got struck by a lightning bolt? Shocking! I know a lot of women, you see.
17. Two antennas got married last Saturday. The reception was fantastic.
Gee Billy, Mom lets you have two antennae? I hope they're not giving each other mixed signals or anything. And they better not get their wires crossed, or else it'll be a shocking divorce.
18. Why does Peter Pan fly all the time? He Neverlands.
Peter Pan is a funny guy. I hear his favorite restaurant is Wendy's. Do you know why his jokes are always funny? Because Peter Pan never gets old. I could go on, but I'll stop here. Enjoy the bonus puns, at least!
19. Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.
Do you know what's great about broken puppets? They'll never string you along. You have to be careful, though - they may just be putting on a show for you. If you see a puppet with a long nose, watch out!
20. I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
I also heard that joke, but... I forgot how it went. There's also a joke about a good memory; could you remind me how it went? Lastly, I heard a joke about short-term memory loss... what was I talking about again?
5 One-Liner Jokes As Punny As They Are Funny
One liner jokes are great because all they need is one line or sentence to make you laugh. There's also great potential for the use of puns in one-liners. So, here are some punny, funny one liner jokes that will rock your world!
21. There's a new restaurant called Karma. There's no menu. You get what you deserve.
Do I deserve a fudge cake? I've been a good boy; I did all my chores and helped a granny cross the street. That guy over there doesn't do his chores, so all he gets is a half-eaten chocolate bar.
22. Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
Also, thanks for explaining the word "insufficient" to me, it means little. But do you know what means a lot to me? Loads of thanks. That's why I'm giving them out - there's too many for me to keep.
23. At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he's adopted?
You might think this is a serious question about pet care, but give it a closer read. Unlike kids, dogs can only be adopted. So, don't worry about giving your dog the talk. They know they're not related to you anyway.
24. Whenever I lose my TV controller, I always find it in a remote location.
In contrast, whenever I lose my TV controller, it's always nearby. But I end up pushing a few buttons trying to find it, and it turns me off whenever I find it in a place I'd never thought to look.
25. Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.
Personally, I'd rather swim in an ocean of Dr. Pepper, but I'm afraid I'd constantly sneeze if I ever had to. Unrelated, but do you know what soda would make a great chef? A Coke.
Downloadable and Printable List of Punny Jokes
Here is a downloadable and printable jpeg/pdf list of punny jokes (right-click the image and select Save Image As...):
A Brief History of Puns + A Featured Book!
Puns are older than you think. In ancient Egypt, puns were used in myths and to explain dreams. Since the dawn of language, puns have emerged to make connections between words and concepts, a key factor in the creation of wordplay.
Because of that, the humble pun has taken root in all languages in the world today. In the modern era, puns are used primarily as tools for expressing humor. If you're more interested in how the modern pun took its shape, here is an excellent book that will teach you exactly that.
The Pun Also Rises: How the Humble Pun Revolutionized Language, Changed History and Made Wordplay More Than Some Antics by John Pollack
When talking about the subject of puns, John Pallack, former World Pun Champion, has written an excellent treatise on the humble pun. In this book, he explains what they are, how they are used, and how they affect history. It's an educational and erudite work that thoroughly dives into how the humble pun revolutionized language and explains how the modern pun took its shape after seeing use in almost all eras of history.
A great read for those who want to understand why and how puns came to be.
How To Make A Good Pun
Want to know how to be funny? At Mantelligence, we've studied how! But what we've covered there isn't the only way to become funnier.
Puns are a great way to strengthen your funny bone. And making a good pun can be all the difference between an ordinary joke and an absolute gut-buster.
Tip #1: Choose a subject.
Before you start making funny puns, you have to choose a subject. Start thinking about funny truths or facts about that subject, taking notes while you do. Once you've picked a proper subject, start thinking about things related to the subject! Choose clever or bad puns related to the subject, then take the next step.
Tip #2: Use wordplay.
Now that you've picked your subject and studied things about it, now's the time to use the words associated with the subject differently. Use rhymes, homophones, homographs, or figurative language to connect the dots. Make words take on a different meaning through your wordplay.
Having a good vocabulary or doing research can also help you improve your wordplay and elevate ordinary puns into amazing ones.
Tip #3: Study the words carefully, and think outside the box.
Sometimes, the best puns are in the line of sight of the words and subject you choose as a focus. Start thinking about keywords and things that could be related to them. Another method is to think outside the box - and try to connect things seemingly unrelated to your keywords to see how they fit.
Even the same word can have a different meaning when you think broadly. You'll create some uncommon puns by doing this.
Tip #4: Practice your delivery.
Once you've thought of a good pun, you can start using them. But hold on - the delivery is the most important part of using puns, and you don't want to mess it up.
Practice in front of a mirror or have a friend as a muse, and try to deliver it in the most striking way possible. You don't want to flub when it comes to the real thing.
Frequently Asked Questions
In this list, we've included funny jokes, witty jokes, and even a bad joke and a dad joke here and there. Plus, we've listed a few helpful tips on how to make your own puns. Are you satisfied, or is there still more you'd like to know?
If so, here are some frequently asked questions I've answered that may shed light on the subject.
Why do people use humor as a coping mechanism?
Humor's primary goal is to make people happy. A person tends to want to stay happy, so they use humor to cope with stress. Even a bad joke will do the job, as long as it helps the person take their mind off their problems.
So, humor is a popular coping mechanism for many people.
Is it appropriate to crack jokes on a date?
In our sister (brother?) blog Mantelligence, we've covered dating tips for those in their 20s. What isn't included there is that jokes can help endear yourself to your date. As long as the mood is light and playful, cracking a good joke can help your date appreciate you more.
Just make sure to read the mood correctly - you don't want to joke around with someone who isn't interested, after all.
Can I tell a joke to someone I just met?
Jokes can help close the distance between two people who've just met. The language of humor is universal, and everyone can appreciate a good knock-knock joke here and there. So, feel free to crack a joke with someone new - they might find you funny and entertaining to be with.
Can I use jokes as stress relievers?
Jokes are great for relieving stress! They provide a lighthearted mood for those who want to escape their problems for a time. So, when you're feeling stressed, or notice someone else fighting it, crack a joke or two to brighten the mood and create a fun energy.
More Hilarious Jokes To Explore
Had a laugh reading this article? Then why not look at some related articles about jokes and puns? We've got a sensational selection for you to try out.
- Math puns! Who doesn't love math puns? It's simple math that funny plus math equals more funny!
- Want to listen to jokes but don't have time for the longer ones? Here are some reader's digest jokes for you.
- Lastly, would you like to celebrate the holiday season with Christmas puns?
Punny jokes aren't just funny because they have puns - they're fun because they can get you to connect the dots between things that don't normally go together. Hopefully, you had a blast reading this article about the punniest jokes out there! We hope you had fun reading this!