If you want to see the most hilarious quotes ever, you've come to the right place.
As the resident expert on funny quotes and having been featured on Elite Daily and The Odyssey Online, I am your best bet when it comes to finding the perfect funny saying to make people laugh. I will also share my best one liner jokes in this list, so keep an eye out for them.
Let's get started!
Ultimate List of Hilarious Quotes
Some people are naturally funny, even without trying. They are loved by many, and they are always the life of the party. Some funny people rely on their impersonations, puns, and even their charm to be humorous. Needless to say, being funny is an advantage that not all people have.
However, if you think your life is lacking in terms of humor and laughter, think again. Just because it doesn't come naturally to you doesn't mean you can't give people a good laugh. I get that cracking a joke isn't as simple as it sounds. That's where our short funny quotes can help you out.
We have listed some of the best hilarious quotes we can find to show you that you can also be the life of the party by being a joker. These will help you build rapport with the people around you and keep them entertained with your one-liners. They will also help eliminate awkwardness, especially when meeting people for the first time.
Let's dive right into the best hilarious quotes we've got on this list.
4 Funny Motivational Sayings For Friends
Your friends are the backbone of your motivation to wake up in the morning and push through each day's challenges. Not all of us have the luxury of seeing our friends often. Constantly making plans to see each other turns into months or years of cancellations and emergencies. However, once you meet up, it's like no time has passed.
You will fall back into normal routines and inside jokes that you won't even remember how much time you spent apart. For your next friends' hangout, we have many quotes you can say to them to remind them how much you care for them.
1. "It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.'' -Marlene Dietrich
You can share a lot of personal information with a friend, but the most embarrassing ones usually come out in the wee hours of the morning. When you find yourself in a bind, you would most likely call your most trusted friend no matter what time it is. When you say this, I bet your friend will remember a bonding moment you might have shared way back.
2. "Most of us don't need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with." -Robert Brault
Everyone has a unique set of problems that not everybody else will understand. When life hands you your load, it's not impossible to feel down and defeated. However, when you find a friend you can laugh with, you will find a little bit of comfort and happiness that no therapist can ever provide. Your friends will most likely feel touched and lucky when you say this inspirational quote to them.
3. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." -Oprah Winfrey
The greatest thing about having true friends is that they stick with you through good and bad times. They won't mind if you don't have a lot of money or if you are going through problems in your life. What matters to them is your company and loyalty to them. People may be nice to you only when you are on top. However, you can weed out your real friends when you're at the bottom.
4. "A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body." - Jim Hayes
This is a funny quote that you can say when you want to share an embarrassing or intense moment your friend helped you in the past. Not everyone's perfect, and we all have some skeletons in our closets that we'd rather not share with the world. When you have someone willing to help you, no questions asked, keep that person in your life forever.
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4 Funny Sayings About Family
You can say a lot of good things about your family. But I bet you can also say many bad things about them. When it comes to family, anything is fair game as long as it's said with love. From digs about house chores to the worst dad jokes you've ever heard, these hilarious quotes about family will make you roar with laughter.
5. "As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it." -Buddy Hackett
Most middle-class households have a rule that you can't be picky with your food. Either you eat what's on the table, or you don't eat at all. It's actually a good rule to practice because it teaches everyone to be respectful towards the people who prepared the food. It will also teach you to be humble and grateful for the blessings you receive.
6. "If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance." -George Bernard Shaw
All families have their secrets that they dare not share with anyone. They wouldn't even want to talk about it during gatherings. However, these kinds of secrets often create unnecessary tension and distance between the members of the family. It's better to make light of it when you're all together instead of letting it ruin your relationships.
7. "The reason I love kids so much is because they're so honest, so you know right away if they like you or they don't." -Colin Egglesfield
This is hilariously true. Because kids are so honest, they won't waste a minute hiding how they feel towards you. When you share this quote with your family, you can also talk about a time you remember a kid from your family who wasn't shy about expressing their disdain for a new person they met. Tell stories and make fun of the honesty that children have.
8. "I was normal two kids ago." -Unknown
Marriage is something that can make your world turn around. But having kids? It will change your entire being. It's even more daunting for a woman because she has to put herself through so much to grow a person inside her body. Most parents will say that having kids means you will never get a good night's sleep ever again, but it is the most rewarding thing they have ever done.
3 Laughworthy Messages About Work That Make You Hassle More
Sometimes, what stands between you and a successful day at work is just one hearty motivational quote. I know it must be frustrating to go through work struggles, toxic work environments, and manipulative bosses, but it's a sad reality that most of us have to experience. It doesn't even matter what field you're in.
If you're in customer service, the food service industry, or basically any kind of field, you're in for a world of hassle. Fortunately, we have some funny work quotes that can get you through the day.
9. "I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it." - Bill Gates
I saw a quote on social media once that said you should work smarter, not harder. I believe that is also fitting for the workplace. If you've got a boss who likes to micromanage, they will most likely dictate what method you should do to accomplish your tasks. But, if you have the freedom to decide, you should most likely do the easiest way for you. After all, who would want all that difficulty?
10. ''The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.'' -Robert Frost
This quote would be perfect to caption a meme. It holds a lot of truth, though. Why do all common sense and creative juices stop at the door when we get to the office? Maybe they just need a boost of coffee to wake them up and recharge. After all, coffee is the best brain juice I've ever tasted.
11. ''The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." -Oscar Wilde
I know many of us joke around about quitting and finding another job. Unfortunately, not everyone has the luxury of time and resources to be without a stable source of income. Only a stupid person will give up their job without a backup plan. So, no matter how much you want to find something else and quit the job you have, I'd suggest securing your savings and having a plan before taking the plunge.
3 Rib Tickling Messages About Life That Will Still Inspire You
The best thing about comedians like Bob Hope, Joan Rivers, and Bill Murray is that they know how to balance out the funny things they say with some heart-warming line or inspirational quote. Combining humor with motivation is the perfect way to push yourself or someone else to achieve the goal. It will help you lighten up and still spark that flame of inspiration within.
12. "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target." -Ashleigh Brilliant
Pop culture has really opened us up to insightful and funny T.V. shows from the United States. As Michael Scott quoted in The Office, you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take. It's undeniably true that you should take opportunities as they come because that's the only way you can hit a home run. In this quote, Michael echoes Ashleigh Brilliant in saying that you should shoot as often as possible and have the confidence to call the target as the shot lands.
13. "An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far, so good!'" -Anonymous
If you've never seen this New York landmark, you better look it up and see how tall it actually is. An optimist will certainly say it's fine, even if they're falling from the sky. In life, we always need a little optimism to get us through the day. Saying you have only one problem when you have dozens helps you take on one thing at a time instead of panicking about many things all at once.
14. "People can't drive you crazy if you don't give them the keys." -Mike Bechtle
How funny (and true) is this statement? We all have the capability to push someone's buttons, but we can only do that if they allow it to happen. If you show people that you can't be pushed around, they will stop trying. Your confidence and personal beliefs will help you show others that you have a mind of your own that doesn't need convincing.
3 Ridiculously Funny Sayings About Relationships
Another thing that needs a lot of humor is a romantic relationship. Ask anyone in a long-term partnership, and they will always tell you the secret to a happy relationship: laughing with each other and enjoying your partner's company. If you've got a joker husband or wife, you'll surely laugh every day you're together.
I'd say you should also be grateful for all of the jokes, love puns, and playful insults you share because they help you break the ice after an argument or relieve tension when you are stressed. They will help you make each other feel better in times of heavy emotions.
15. "Romantic love is a mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one." -Fran Lebowitz
Talking to people who are in love is like talking to a clown who makes no sense. They are giddy and clueless about the realities of life, yet they also look incredibly content and happy in each other's company. The innocence of romantic love really captures the genuine emotions of the couple.
16. "He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle." -Ring Lardner
Lines like these make perfect captions on Instagram posts. Let's say you are on vacation with your partner and have breakfast together, looking out into the beach on a sunny morning. The sun hits your partner's face, and you snap a photo with them smiling while pouring syrup on their waffles.
When you post that photo and put this quote as a caption, you'll definitely earn yourself a lot of points and get a lot of kisses from your significant other.
17. "Spend a few minutes a day listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you." -Megan Mullally
Betty White once said, "Friendship takes time and energy if it's going to work. You can luck into something great, but it doesn't last if you don't give it proper appreciation." Talking and working things out may be tiresome, but it's necessary so that your partner feels like they have someone to share the heavy load of their problems.
Even if you don't have the same challenges, even just listening to them will give them the validation and support they need.
Downloadable and Printable List of Hilarious Quotes
Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of hilarious quotes (right-clicked the image and select Save Image As...):
Are All Humor Meant To Be Told To Everyone?
There are many kinds of jokes that we've listed here. There are still some more that we have yet to discuss in our other articles. However, these jokes usually have a targeted audience that will really make the most of their hilarity. You should choose your jokes well to really make the other person laugh.
For example, you're at a wedding, and the couple asks you to prepare a toast. Find the list of hilarious quotes about relationships above, and you've got some funny lines that can be relatable to the crowd you're addressing. But, if you're giving a toast and choose the jokes about the workplace, you may not get as many laughs as you'd hoped.
For instance, you're giving an inspirational speech to a group of people. Some of the most fitting quotes can be found in the list of jokes that can still inspire you. They will not only giggle and laugh at your jokes, but it will also keep them listening and entertained until the end.
Choose the most appropriate genre of jokes so that people will learn how funny and witty you are. Then, you will be able to make the most out of our hilarious jokes and be able to share your humor with the people you talk to.
How To Send Funny Sayings To Someone
People love it when you send them a text of something funny or witty when they're having a boring day at work or home. If you're having trouble with how to send funny sayings to someone, here are a few tips you can consider before composing that message:
1. Make sure they're open to receiving it.
You can always tell if someone is in the right headspace to read a joke. If you know they're in an important meeting or running an errand, it might not be the best time to send the message. It's better to send a joke when you know they're not doing anything important or time-sensitive. If they say they're watching T.V. or having a coffee break, then you know that they're not that busy to read your texts.
2. Make sure they're in the mood to read a joke.
You'll also know that if a person is angry or stressed, they might not appreciate you cracking a joke and bothering them. They may have just been reprimanded by their boss or rejected from an interview, and you send a joke that pokes fun at their problem. That might put you in a bad place with that person.
Check first if they're happy or neutral before you tell the joke so you don't upset them.
3. Make sure they can relate to the joke.
It might be frustrating for people to read a joke that they can't relate to. It will be even more frustrating for the person who told the joke because they'd have to explain it, and it will just make things super awkward. Choose from our list above and see which category the other person can really understand and laugh about.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you still have some clarifications about hilarious quotes and how you can really make the most out of them? Here are some frequently asked questions that may be able to help you out:
How do you enjoy life quotes?
Sometimes, we go through phases in our lives where we need a little inspiration and motivation to keep going. Unexpectedly, these quotes can show up on our social media feeds at a time when we need them the most. Most people share them on their personal feeds or use the quotes they see as captions to their posts. Some also share them with friends, co-workers, or family members who they know will relate to the message.
Is there such a thing as a serious joke?
Since jokes are meant to be funny, I don't think there are serious jokes. However, some people may take some jokes so seriously that they might get offended by the joke's context. That's why it's important to be careful about being too crass or personal when cracking a joke.
How can you a crack joke without being corny?
You can almost always get away with corny jokes just by their delivery. Do some physical elements, like hand gestures and demonstrations, to add to the comical aspect of the joke. You can also laugh hard after the joke, so if people don't find it funny, they will laugh at how hard you're laughing.
How do I get more joy in my life?
Being optimistic is a great way to get more joy in life. When you have a positive outlook on life, you will find more happiness in the simple things you experience. Finding a cozy coffee shop or buying your favorite ice cream are some simple ways you can enjoy your life. It's not really that difficult to be happy. It's easy to find happiness when you know where to look.
More Interesting Articles To Explore
We have some recent posts that you might be able to relate to. Here are some more articles to explore if you're looking for jokes:
- Are the holidays coming up? These thanksgiving jokes will crack up your whole family and have them laughing until Christmas.
- If you're having a gathering in the near future, you will need some humorous lines to share with the crowd. These what do you call jokes will make anyone laugh their socks off.
- Are your friends fans of wordplay? If they do, I bet they will enjoy these punny jokes that are so funny, they will literally roll on the floor laughing.
Didn't I tell you that these hilarious quotes will make you die of laughter?
You know these quotes that make you laugh aren't just for sharing with other people. You can also read through this list when you're having a bad day and need a little laughter to relieve your stress. When people say laughter is the best medicine, I'd like to believe that it's true.
Making fun of the simple things in life is what helps us become more joyful and optimistic. Being this way also rubs off on other people, so you're actually spreading the joy and indirectly making other people happy as well. Hopefully, our best one liner jokes make you and the people around you laugh and share happy moments that you'll remember for the rest of your lives.
Good luck, and don't forget to laugh out loud!