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363 Best Corny Jokes – The only list you’ll ever need.

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When it comes to jokes, corny jokes are the best.

They can make your audience’s eye roll in frustration or make them exhale sharply out of their nose, but deep down they know that corny jokes are the best.

From corny dog jokes to corny dad jokes that are so bad they are good, there are so many great jokes to choose from.

But when you are trying to find the best corny jokes, where do you look? Don’t worry, we have you covered with our list of the best corny jokes ever!

Contents

13 Best corny Jokes

When you want to make someone really laugh, you need the best corny jokes. That’s why we have put together this amazing list of the best corny jokes to help you become the life of the party.

Here are the 13 best corny jokes:v

1. I’m so good at sleeping.

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Answer

I can do it with my eyes closed.

2. Which two letters in the alphabet are always jealous?

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Answer

NV.

3. What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?

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Answer

Icy dead people.

4. Could you please call me a taxi?

Show Answer

Answer

Alright, you’re a taxi!

5. I invented a new word.

And we’re off with a winner. This joke is sure to make everyone roll their eyes and laugh all at the same time.

Show Answer

Answer

Plagiarism.

6. What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?

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Answer

Cashew!

7. What goes up and down but does not move?

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Answer

Stairs.

8. Why was the broom late?

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Answer

It over swept!

9. I wonder why the frisbee was getting bigger.

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Answer

Then it hit me.

10. Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance.

Only to be used with people who have an incredibly dark sense of humor, this joke is so dark it’s kinda funny.

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Answer

So I pushed her over.

11. Why do chickens sit on eggs?

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Answer

Because they don’t have chairs.

12. What is the difference between a bird and a fly?

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Answer

None.

13. What kind of bagel can fly?

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Answer

A plain bagel!

16 corny dad jokes

Dad jokes may not be to everyone’s taste but we can bet that you will found someone who thinks these Dad jokes are as funny as we do.

Here are 16 corny Dad jokes:

14. Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Dad’s normally tell bedtime stories but a joke about the best bedtime story hero? Count me in!

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Answer

He never lands.

15. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

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Answer

They lactose.

16. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?

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Answer

“Make me one with everything.”

17. Why did Adele cross the road?

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Answer

To say hello from the other side!

18. What’s blue and smells like red paint?

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Answer

Blue paint.

19. I asked my Mom if I was ugly.

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Answer

She said, “I told you not to call me Mom in front of people.”

20. How Long is a Chinese man’s name?

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Answer

No, it actually is.

21. Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

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Answer

That’s just how I roll.

22. Does your dog bite?

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Answer

Nope. Oh, so how do you feed him?

23. I got fired from my job as a taxi driver.

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Answer

It turns out my customers didn’t like it when I tried to go the extra mile.

24. When is a joke a dad joke?

This one might take your audience a little time to catch onto. But once that punch line lands, it is hilarious.

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Answer

When it’s apparent!

25. Thank you student loans for getting me through college.

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Answer

I don’t think I can ever repay you.

26. Every single morning I get hit by the same bike.

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Answer

It’s a vicious cycle.

27. How many lips does a flower have?

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Answer

Tu-lips.

28. How do you stop a bull from charging?

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Answer

Cancel its credit card.

29. Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?

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Answer

Because he’s always lion.

14 corny knock knock jokes

Knock knock jokes have been told for what seems to be forever. But it doesn’t matter if you are 10 or 110, knock knock jokes are always a winner.

Here are 14 corny knock knock jokes:

30. Knock knock. Who’s there? To. To who?

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Answer

To whom!


For those of you who love being grammatically correct, this one is for you.

31. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says.

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Answer

Cow says who? No, it says moo.

32. Knock knock. Who’s there? Robin. Robin who?

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Answer

Robin you, now hand over the cash.

33. Knock knock. Who’s there? Etch. Etch who?

This joke is sweet and mannerly. Just the way I like my corny jokes.

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Answer

Bless you, friend.

34. Knock knock. Who’s there? I smell mop. I smell mop who?

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Answer

Ew.

35. Knock knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who?

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Answer

Candice door open, or what?

36. Knock knock. Who’s there? Bully! Bully who?

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Answer

Bully Jean is not my lover.

37. Knock knock. Who’s there? Barbara! Barbara who?

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Answer

Barbara black sheep have you any wool?

38. Knock knock. Who’s there? Wendy! Wendy who?

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Answer

Wendy wind blows de cradle will fall.

39. Knock knock. Who’s there? Adore. Adore who?

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Answer

Adore is between us. Open up!

40. Knock knock. Who’s there? Avenue. Avenue who?

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Answer

Avenue knocked on this door before?

41. Knock knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who?

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Answer

Ben knocking on this door all morning, let me in!

42. Knock knock. Who’s there? Ferdie! Ferdie who?

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Answer

Ferdie last time open this door!

43. Knock knock. Who’s there? Irish. Irish who?

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Answer

Irish you a nice day.

14 corny math jokes

While math may not be for everyone, you can’t deny that maths jokes are hilarious! From decimals to algebra, math jokes are as smart as they are funny.

Here are 14 corny math jokes:

44. To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero…

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Answer

Thanks for nothing!

45. Not all math puns are bad.

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Answer

Just sum.

46. What is the official animal of Pi Day?

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Answer

The pi-thon.

47. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?

This one is particularly funny for anyone who has ever had to apply for a loan.

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Answer

His parents wouldn’t cosine.

48. Why did the Romans think algebra was so easy?

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Answer

They knew X was always 10!

49. Why can’t the number 4 get into the nightclub?

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Answer

Because he is 2 square.

50. What did one decimal say to the other?

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Answer

Did you get my point?

51. What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock?

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Answer

Arithma-ticks!

52. Who invented the Round Table?

Who knew mixing trigonometry and Medieval mythology could make such a great joke?

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Answer

Sir Cumference.

53. There are 10 types of mathematicians.

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Answer

Those who know binary and those who don’t.

54. What is a mathematician’s favorite season?

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Answer

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Answer

Sum-mer.

55. Do you know what seems odd?

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Answer

Numbers that aren’t divisible by 2.

56. How can you make seven even?

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Answer

Take away the “S”.

57. What are ten things you can always count on?

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Answer

Your fingers.

14 corny yet stupid jokes

Sometimes a corny joke has to be really stupid to be funny. When you are telling stupid jokes, you really need to leave feeling of embarrassment at the door.

Here are 7 corny yet stupid jokes:

58. What did the guitar say to the musician?

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Answer

“Pick on someone your own size!”

59. A limbo champion walks into a bar.

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Answer

They are disqualified.

60. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?

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Answer

Because they taste funny.

61. Why are rivers always rich?

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Answer

Because they have two banks.

62. I used to have two kidneys.

This joke is both kid friendly and easy enough for a child to understand. It’s fun for all the family!

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Answer

Then I grew up. Now I have two adult knees.

63. I went to buy camouflage trousers…

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Answer

but I couldn’t find any.

64. Life is like a box of chocolates.

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Answer

It doesn’t last long if you’re fat.

65. People who like trance music are very persistent.

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Answer

They don’t techno for an answer.

66. I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

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Answer

I said: “Are you two an item?

67.An escalator can never break.

As jokes go, this one is more thought provoking than it is funny.

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Answer

They only become stairs.

68. I’m a big fan of whiteboards.

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Answer

I find them quite re-markable.

69. I’m reading a horror story in Braille.

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Answer

Something bad is about to happen… I can feel it.

70. Just burned 2,000 calories.

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Answer

That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

71. Where do cows go for entertainment?

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Answer

To the moo-vies!

14 corny birthday jokes

Birthdays are already really fun but do you know what makes them even better? Birthday jokes! These jokes are great for any birthday party.

Here are 14 corny birthday jokes:

72. Is it getting warmer here or…

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Answer

Is it all the candles on your birthday cake?

73. I asked my mother where I have been born when she told me in a hospital.

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Answer

I responded: “Mom was I ill?”

74. Looking 50 is great!

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Answer

If you’re 60.

75. Honey, you really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday.

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Answer

Do it tomorrow.

76. What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday?

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Answer

Hoppy Birthday.


If you have a kid in your life that loves kangaroos, this one is the one for you.

77. I like birthdays but I think…

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Answer

too many can kill you.

78. I was born to be a pessimist.

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Answer

My blood type is B Negative.

79. The best way to remember your wife’s birthday…

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Answer

Is to forget it once.

80. “Were any famous men born on your birthday?”

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Answer

“No, only little babies.”

81. When I was born I was so surprised…

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Answer

I didn’t talk for a year and a half.


Beware of using this joke in the middle of a conversation. It may actually sound like a proper statement.

82. You are so old…

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Answer

The candles on your birthday cake raised the earth’s temperature by 3 degrees.

83. How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?

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Answer

They relish the moment.

84. The best way to remember your wife’s birthday…

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Answer

Is to forget it once.

85. Regular naps prevent old age…

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Answer

Especially if you take them while driving.

12 corny old people jokes

When it comes to telling corny jokes, old people jokes are the best. From joking about growing old to false teeth, these old people jokes will make everyone laugh.

Here are 12 corny old people jokes:

86. You know you’re old when…

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Answer

you and your teeth don’t sleep together.

87. You know you’re getting old when you have…

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Answer

More candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.

88. When my granddad was 65, he started running a mile a day to keep fit.

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Answer

He’s now 70 and we have mo idea where he is.

89. When I was a boy…

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Answer

The Dead Sea was only sick.

90. I want to die peacefully in my sleep as my grandfather did.

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Answer

Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.


Dark humor isn’t for everyone. But this joke might be.

91. The older we get…

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Answer

The fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

92. You know you are old when there is…

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Answer

Nothing left to learn the hard way.

93. You know you are old when people…

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Answer

Tell you how good you look.

94. You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80…

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Answer

it’s a picket fence.

95. You know you’re getting old when you go to an antique auction…

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Answer

And three people bid on you.


Both funny and weirdly complimentary, this joke is really funny.

96. How are stars like false teeth?

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Answer

They both come out at night!

97. At age 70, my grandfather…

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Answer

Bought his first riding lawnmower.

15 corny dog jokes

Dogs are mans best friend, but their antics are great for coming up with great dog jokes.

Here are 15 corny dog jokes:

98. What do dogs eat at the movie theaters?

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Answer

Pupcorn.

99. Why do dogs like sandpaper?

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Answer

Because they’re ruff.


Some jokes are specifically made for kids, and this is one of them.

100. How do dog catchers get paid?

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Answer

By the pound!

101. He’s not a bad dog.

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Answer

He’s just a little ruff around the edges.

102. What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?

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Answer

A friend you can count on.

103. What do you call a large dog that meditates?

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Answer

Aware wolf.

104. What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?

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Answer

They get their masters.


Who’s a smart boy? This dog is and the joke is pretty hilarious too.

105. Why did the dog breeder go to the dentist?

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Answer

Because one of his canines was loose.

106. Have you had a bad day?

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Answer

Just pug-get about it.

107. What dog will laugh at any joke?

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Answer

A Chi-ha-ha.

108. What’s a dog’s favorite drink at Starbucks?

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Answer

A pugkin spiced latte.

109. What did the dog say to his wife?

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Answer

You are so pawfect, I will love you furever.

110. What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?

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Answer

A petticoat.

111. “We’re eating dinner soon.

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Answer

Don’t fill up on homework.” —Dog mom

18 corny but best one liner jokes

There is no other type of joke that is as funny as a one liner. Except maybe for the best one liner jokes that are especially corny.

Here are 18 corny but best one liner jokes:

112. I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting.’

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Answer

So we stopped playing chess.

113. Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?

Show Answer

Answer

He was given two consecutive sentences.


For all the English-lovers out there, this one goes out to you!

114. Have you played the updated kids’ game?

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Answer

I Spy With My Little Eye . . . Phone.

115. So what if I don’t know what “Armageddon” means?

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Answer

It’s not the end of the world.

116. My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair.

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Answer

Guess who came crawling back.

117. A guy rushed past me at the post office to deliver 25 different letters.

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Answer

He skipped the Q.

118. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline;

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Answer

She hit the roof.

119. How did I escape Iraq?

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Answer

Iran.

120. My nickname at school was Scarface.

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Answer

I was really good at knitting.

121. I just found out I’m colorblind.

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Answer

The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

122. If you cut off your left arm…

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Answer

Then your right arm will be left.

123. The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but…

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Answer

The fire trucks ruined it.


If you are a terrible cook, don’t use this joke. Because someone might actually believe you.

124. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her.

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Answer

Or something like that…

125. Why don’t developers carry guns?

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Answer

They have troubleshooting.

126. As the judge sentenced me to death, I tried to offer him a high five.

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Answer

But he left me hanging.

127. What kind of music do planets like?

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Answer

Neptunes.

128. I just called the paranoia hotline…

Show Answer

Answer

A guy answered, “How did you get this number?!”

129. Improve your memory by…

Show Answer

Answer

doing unforgettable things.

15 corny walks into a bar jokes

Some jokes are classics. From knock knock jokes to cheesy jokes, walks into a bar jokes are the definite King of jokes.

Here are 15 corny walks into a bar jokes:

130. A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve robots.” The robot replies…

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Answer

“Oh, but someday you will.”

131.Two dragons walk into a bar. The first one says, “It sure is hot in here.”His friend snaps back…

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Answer

“Shut your mouth!”

132. A guy walks into a bar carrying jumper cables. The bartender says…

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Answer

“Hey pal, don’t start anything in here.”

133. Four fonts walk into a bar. The bar man says:

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Answer

“Please get out, We don’t want your type in here.

134. An elf, a man, and a wizard walk into a bar.

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Answer

The hobbit laughs as he walks under it.
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When you need a Lord of The Rings joke, this one is for you.

135. A perfectionist walked into a bar…

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Answer

Apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough.

136. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says:

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Answer

“Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.

137. Two guys walk into a bar.

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Answer

The third one ducks.

138. A Roman walks into a bar, hold up two fingers, and says…

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Answer

“Five beers please.”

139. Five guys walk into a bar.

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Answer

You think one of them would’ve seen it.


Oh those silly guys! This joke nearly has you feeling sorry for those guys.

140. A blind man walks into a bar.

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Answer

And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

141. Two husbands walk into a bar.The first one says, “My wife is an angel.” The second one says…

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Answer

“You’re lucky! Mine is still alive.”

142. A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says…

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Answer

“I’m sorry. We don’t serve food here.”

143. E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says…

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Answer

“Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”

144. A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”…

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Answer

A time traveler walks into a bar.

13 corny military jokes

Military jokes are hilarious. Especially if they are super corny. These jokes are a combination of rule-breaking and corniness that will have everyone laughing.

Here are 13 corny military jokes:

145. What does a soldier write with?

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Answer

A weapen.


The image of a soldier writing with a tiny pen is sure to have everyone laughing.

146. Did You Hear about the Accident at the Army Base?

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Answer

A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two colonels.

147. How do you know if there is a Navy SEAL at the bar?

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Answer

Don’t worry, he’ll tell you.

148. Which Month Do Soldiers Hate?

Show Answer

Answer

March!

149. The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier:

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Answer

“I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.” “Thank you very much, sir.”


And just like that young soldier, the laughter to this joke can come straight out of blue.

150. Have You Heard about the Karate Champion Who Joined the Military?

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Answer

He nearly killed himself the first time he saluted!

151. Where do military people get all their shoes from?

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Answer

Boot Camp.

152. What do you call the leader of a trash army?

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Answer

General Waste.

153. Why did the computer technician get kicked out of the army?

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Answer

He had troubleshooting.

154. Where Do Rabbits Learn to Fly?

Show Answer

Answer

In the hare force!


A joke that is funny and cute? Sign me up!

155. When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy…

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Answer

The captain goes down with the ship.

156. What plant grows in a soldier’s garden?

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Answer

Ambush.

157. What do you call a gun loaded with ammo?

Show Answer

Answer

A ri-full.

12 corny coffee jokes

Everyone loves coffee. And what is better than coffee I hear you ask? That’s right, corny coffee jokes!

Here are 12 corny coffee jokes:

158. What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion.

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Answer

I asked for coffee.


Sarcastic and a bit sassy, this joke is funny straight off the bat.

159. How did the hipster burn his tongue?

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Answer

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

160. Why don’t snakes drink coffee?

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Answer

Because it makes them ‘viperactive’.

161. What is the best Beatles song?

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Answer

Latte Be!


Warning! If you tell this joke, there is a chance that people will involuntarily start singing “Let It Be”. You have been warned.

162. What do you get when you pour coffee into a black hole?

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Answer

Hyperspace.

163. What do you call the first level of a coffee factory?

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Answer

The ground floor.


With clever wordplay and perfect performance, this joke could be brilliant.

164. How does Henry VIII like his coffee?

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Answer

Decap.

165. What did the coffee say to the other?

Show Answer

Answer

Where you bean all my life?


Who knew bean jokes could be so smooth?

166. What do you call a couple of coffee bullies?

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Answer

Mean beans.

167. What’s Dracula’s favourite type of coffee?

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Answer

Decoffinated.

168. How do I take my coffee?

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Answer

Very seriously.


Tell this joke with an added bit of drama and a raised eyebrow and you’ll have a joke that will have people laughing for ages!

169. Would you like your coffee black?

Show Answer

Answer

What other colors do you have?

12 corny lawyer jokes

Whether you are telling jokes to lawyers or a room full of people who have never hired a lawyer, lawyer jokes are always funny.

Here are some of the best corny lawyer jokes:

170. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

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Answer

The lawyer charges more.

171. What did the lawyer name his daughter?

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Answer

Sue!

172. Nothing comes easy in life.

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Answer

Even Santa comes with a clause.


Sometimes jokes just have to get real you know?

173. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

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Answer

A father in law!

174. What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

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Answer

The caterer.

175. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

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Answer

Accountants know they’re boring.

176. A criminal lawyer…

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Answer

Is a redundancy.

177. Why don’t snakes bite lawyers?

Show Answer

Answer

Professional courtesy.


An insult and a joke all rolled into one? This joke is on another level.

178. What do you call 15 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

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Answer

Not enough sand.

179. How does an attorney sleep?

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Answer

First, he lies on one side, and then on the other.

180. What’s the difference between a lawyer and God?

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Answer

God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer.

181. When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

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Answer

When his lips are shut.

12 corny office jokes

Offices are so funny, they even made a TV show about them. So it’s a safe bet that when you tell office jokes, you will have every Pam, Jim and Michael in your office laughing.

Here are 12 corny office jokes:

182. Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory?

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Answer

He took a day off.

183. I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job…

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Answer

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

184. I quit my job at the helium gas factory.

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Answer

I refused to be talked to in that tone of voice!

185. How do construction workers party?

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Answer

They raise the roof.

186. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.

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Answer

On my desk, I have a work station…


This one is great for work parties, once your boss isn’t around to hear it.

187. The trouble with being punctual is that…

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Answer

Nobody’s there to appreciate it.

188. I used to work in the office at a stationery firm but I quit.

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Answer

I felt it wasn’t going anywhere.

189. I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.

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Answer

And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.

190. Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home?

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Answer

Me: I don’t even think about work at work!

191. Being an astronaut is funny.

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Answer

It’s the only job where you get fired before you start work.

192. If an accountant’s spouse cannot sleep, what is the best cure?

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Answer

Ask the accountant to talk about their work.

193. The closest a person ever comes to perfection is…

Harsh but true, this joke will definitely make the job hunters in your group laugh, or cry. It really depends.

Show Answer

Answer

When he fills out a job application form.

14 corny church jokes

From the Old Testament to Revelations, religion can sometimes be boring. So why not add some humor and tell some church jokes?

Here are 14 corny church jokes:

194. Jesus Christ walks into a bar.

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Answer

He orders a water.

195. How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?

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Answer

By his net income.

196. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?

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Answer

When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.

197. And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John …

In the Bible, they never said it was a competition!

Show Answer

Answer

came fifth and won a toaster.

198. At what time of day was Adam created?

Show Answer

Answer

A little before Eve.

199. Who’s the patron saint of poverty?

Show Answer

Answer

St. Nickeless.

200. Need an ark?

Show Answer

Answer

I noah guy.

201. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?

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Answer

Ruthless.

202. Why are there so many old people in Church?

Nothing says corny joke quite like this dark revelation.

Show Answer

Answer

They’re cramming for the final.

203. Who was the fastest runner in the race?

Show Answer

Answer

Adam. He was first in the human race.

204. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian…

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Answer

Any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

205. If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was a little lamb…

Show Answer

Answer

Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

206. What’s the best way to study the Bible?

Show Answer

Answer

You Luke into it.

207. Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?

If you have ever fallen asleep at church, you know that this joke is both funny and true.

Show Answer

Answer

Because people are sleeping.

14 corny and cheesy jokes

Do you know what is better than bringing cheese to a party? Bringing cheesy jokes to a party, obviously!

Here are 14 corny and cheesy jokes:

208. What did the toilet tell the other toilet?

Talking toilets? What’s not funny about some toilet humor?

Show Answer

Answer

You look flushed.

209. Why was the strawberry crying?

Show Answer

Answer

His mom and dad were in a jam.

210. Which is the longest word in the dictionary?

Show Answer

Answer

Smile. There is a mile between S and E.

211. What did the hat say to the other?

What could be funnier than a talking hat?

Show Answer

Answer

You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.

212. What pet makes the loudest noise?

Show Answer

Answer

A trumpet!

213. What did the janitor say when he got out of the closet?

Show Answer

Answer

Supplies!

214. What did the hamburger name his daughter?

Show Answer

Answer

Patty.

215. What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Show Answer

Answer

Toad.

216. What do you call a bear in the rain?…

Show Answer

Answer

A Drizzley Bear!!!

217. How many Mexican guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Show Answer

Answer

Just Juan.

218. What cheese can you use to hide a horse?

If you use this with a group of kids, you are guaranteed laughs!

Show Answer

Answer

MASCARPONE!

219. What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand?

Show Answer

Answer

Quatro Sinko.

220. How did the Italian chef die?

Show Answer

Answer

He pasta way.

221. Knock, knock. Who’s there?

Show Answer

Answer

Doorbell repairman.

14 corny but witty jokes

Hilarious jokes are great but sometimes the most subtle jokes are the funniest. That’s when you need some witty jokes up your sleeve.

Here are 14 corny but witty jokes:

222. Heard about that new band called 1023 MB?

For all you computer technicians, this one is for you!

Show Answer

Answer

They haven’t had any gigs yet.

223. How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Show Answer

Answer

Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”

224. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night?

Show Answer

Answer

He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.

225. A Buddhist monk approaches a burger food-truck and says…

Show Answer

Answer

“Make me one with everything.”

226. What did the DNA say to the other DNA?

Show Answer

Answer

“Do these genes make me look fat?”

227. David lost his ID.

This one is so corny, it is hard not to laugh.

Show Answer

Answer

He now answers to Dav.

228. Helium walks into a bar, the bartender says “We don’t serve noble gases in here.”

If you ever find yourself at a science convention, this one will help your comedy career take off!

Show Answer

Answer

Helium doesn’t react.

229. As I said before…

Show Answer

Answer

I never repeat myself.

230. I would make another chemistry joke…

Show Answer

Answer

But all good ones ARGON!

231. I was going to say a witty, hilarious and intelligent joke about time-traveling…

Show Answer

Answer

but you guys didn’t like it.ityy

232. I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium got together and I was like…

And they said learning the periodic table in school would help you. Help you understand this joke more like!

Show Answer

Answer

OMg.

233. How do you know when a woman is about to say something intelligent?

Show Answer

Answer

She starts her sentence with “A man once told me”

234. Why did Charlotte Bronte make it easier to breathe?

When you find an audience that loves English literature, this joke is the perfect one to tell.

Show Answer

Answer

She created Eyre.

235. Your mother is so classless…

Show Answer

Answer

She could be a Marxist utopia.

14 corny but the funniest jokes ever

While some people hate corny jokes, it’s hard to deny that some jokes are the funniest jokes ever.

Here are 14 corny funniest jokes ever:

236. Be polite to every idiot you meet. He could be your boss tomorrow.

When jokes are funny and possibly true, it makes them even more hilarious!

237. Important note from a car manual:

Show Answer

Answer

Backing rapidly at a tree significantly reduces your trunk space.

238. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?

Show Answer

Answer

It gets toad away.

239. What do you get if you crossbreed a cute Easter rabbit with an insect?

Show Answer

Answer

Bugs Bunny.

240. Genie: What is your final wish? Me: I wish I were you! Genue:

Show Answer

Answer

Weurd but alrught.

241. My girlfriend got sick to her stomach when I told her I put ginger in our curry.

Oh! With a turn like that, it is hard not to laugh!

Show Answer

Answer

She loved that cat.

242. My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But…

Show Answer

Answer

OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.

243. Today I went for a walk with a beautiful girl.

Show Answer

Answer

Then she noticed me so we went for a run.

244. Do not go to the bathroom in a dream.

Show Answer

Answer

It’s a trap!

245. Do you know what DNA stands for?

Show Answer

Answer

National Dyslexic Association.

246. If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English…

Or you could be the person in the audience that screams back, “But I don’t understand English”. The heckling to this joke might just be funnier than the joke itself.

Show Answer

Answer

Press 2.

247. What lights up a soccer stadium?

Show Answer

Answer

A soccer match.

248. If alcohol influences short-term memory…

Show Answer

Answer

What does alcohol do?

249. If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?

When you combine Christmas and a joke, do you know what you get? A guaranteed corny joke!

Show Answer

Answer

Mistle-toes.

13 corny what do you call jokes

Here’s a joke for you. What are the best type of jokes? What do you call jokes! Get it? No? Ok, well here are some better jokes that are sure to get your friends laughing.

Here are 13 corny what do you call jokes:

250. What do you call a walking nun?

Tell this joke with a few jazz hands and a hand clap for extra effect.

Show Answer

Answer

A Rome-ing Catholic.

251. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Show Answer

Answer

A gummy bear.

252. What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

Show Answer

Answer

A satisfactory!

253. What do you call a loan from a bison?

Show Answer

Answer

A BUFFA-LOAN.

254. What do you call a swim team made up of girls named Jennifer?

Show Answer

Answer

HydroJens!

255. What do you call an old snowman?

Both sad and funny, this joke will get people to laugh and cry in equal measure.

Show Answer

Answer

Water.

256. What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?

Show Answer

Answer

Artificial Swedener.

257. What do you call a spy frog?

Show Answer

Answer

James Pond

258. What do you call a track meet for cross-dressers?

Show Answer

Answer

A drag race.

259. What do you call horses that come out at night?

Show Answer

Answer

Night mares.

260. What do you call a rich elf?

There is nothing quite like having to put an English accent on to really make a punch line work.

Show Answer

Answer

Welfy.

261. What do you call artificial spaghetti?

Show Answer

Answer

A mock-aroni!

262. What do you call a doctor with 8 hands?

Show Answer

Answer

A doctopus.

14 corny new year’s jokes

New Year’s a time for reflecting on the year that has passed and the time yet to come. And sometimes it’s just a great time to tell New Years jokes.

Here are 14 corny New Year’s jokes:

263. My New Years resolution is…

Show Answer

Answer

1080p.

264. My resolution was to read more so…

Well, I guess, that’s one why to do it.

Show Answer

Answer

I put the subtitles on my tv.

265. My wife still hasn’t told me…

Show Answer

Answer

What my New Year’s resolutions are.

266. Youth is…

Show Answer

Answer

When you’re allowed to stay up for New Year.

267. Middle age is…

Show Answer

Answer

When you’re forced to.

268. What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?

Show Answer

Answer

Moo Year’s Day.

269. I remember last year like…

As the most used joke around New Year’s Day, this joke never gets old!

Show Answer

Answer

It was yesterday.

270. Where is New Years Eve so Mathematical?

Show Answer

Answer

Times Square!

271. What does a Ghost say on January 1st?

Show Answer

Answer

Happy BOO year!

272. What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?

Show Answer

Answer

Happy New Cheer!

273. What did Stephen like to be called on December 31st?

Show Answer

Answer

New Year’s Steve.

274. What’s the problem with jogging on New Year’s Eve?

Show Answer

Answer

The ice falls out of your drinks.

275. Usually, my main goal at a New Year’s party is…

Show Answer

Answer

To remember who I came with.

276. My New Year’s resolution is…

Show Answer

Answer

To take all the Christmas lights down by Easter.

15 corny thanksgiving jokes

There is a strange part of Thanksgiving where all the food is gone and your Dad is asleep on the couch. All you need to liven up the party is a few Thanksgiving jokes.

Here are 15 corny thanksgiving jokes:

277. One turkey to the another:

Show Answer

Answer

Do you think there is life after Thanksgiving?

278. What’s the universal key to a lovely Thanksgiving?

Show Answer

Answer

The turkey.

279. What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?

Show Answer

Answer

If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his grave-y!

280. What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?

Show Answer

Answer

The family dog’s nose.

281. What does a Pilgrim call his friends.

Show Answer

Answer

Pal-grims.

282. What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?

Stating the obvious has been the backbone of great joke, and this one is no different.
Traditionally, the letter G.
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283. How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?

Show Answer

Answer

Only one, but you really have to squeeze them in.

284. Why did the Pilgrim die in the car crash?

Show Answer

Answer

Because he didn’t buckle up.

285. What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

Show Answer

Answer

The turkey trot.

286. What does a turkey drink from?

Show Answer

Answer

A gobble-t.

287. I only have…

When it comes to corny jokes, this one is kinda sweet. It also makes me want pie.

Show Answer

Answer

Pies for you.

288. What do you call a running turkey?

Show Answer

Answer

Fast food.

289. What’s blue and covered in feathers?

Show Answer

Answer

A turkey holding its breath.

290. “What do you call the age of a pilgrim?

Show Answer

Answer

Pilgrimage.

291. Why did they let the turkey join the band?

Show Answer

Answer

Because he had his own drumsticks.

12 corny christmas jokes

Christmas is a time for family and friends and gathering around a fire. When you are getting cozy, these Christmas jokes are sure to make everyone fall around laughing.

Here are 12 corny Christmas jokes:

292. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is…

Show Answer

Answer

looking for a job the next day.

293. Why does Santa have three gardens?

Show Answer

Answer

So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

294. What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?

Show Answer

Answer

Is it going to rain dear?!

295. What do you call a three-legged donkey?

Show Answer

Answer

A wonky donkey!

296. Which football team did the baby Jesus support?

Show Answer

Answer

Manger-ster United!

297. What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?

If all the children in your group are holding their noses, you know you are onto a winner.

Show Answer

Answer

Jingle Smells!

298. Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole?

Show Answer

Answer

No well, no well!

299. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

Show Answer

Answer

A pineapple!

300. What do call Santa when he stops moving?

Show Answer

Answer

Santa Pause!

301. Where do reindeer go dancing?

Show Answer

Answer

A: Christmas balls!

302. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?

When it comes to corny jokes, you can’t beat the classics.

Show Answer

Answer

A Christmas Quacker.

303. How many gifts can Santa squeeze in an empty stocking?

Show Answer

Answer

One. It’s not empty after the first one.

304. What kind of a bike does Santa ride in his spare time?

Show Answer

Answer

A Holly Davidson.

12 corny blonde jokes

They say blondes have more fun but blonde jokes can sometimes drop flat depending on the crowd.

Here are 12 corny blonde jokes:

305. Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied…

Show Answer

Answer

“I don’t know; I can’t see.”

306. Why can’t a blonde dial 911?

Show Answer

Answer

She can’t find the eleven.

307. What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box?

You could say that the blone is being silly, but really they are just dreamers.

Show Answer

Answer

“Omg, donut seeds!”

308. What’s the difference between a smart blonde and a unicorn?

Show Answer

Answer

Nothing, they’re both fictional characters.

309. How do you confuse a blonde?

Show Answer

Answer

Give her a box of corn flakes and tell her it’s a jigsaw puzzle.

310. How do you keep a blonde busy?

Show Answer

Answer

Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.

311. Why do blondes stare at orange juice containers for hours on end?

Show Answer

Answer

Because they say “concentrate.”

312. What do blondes do when their laptop freezes?

Show Answer

Answer

Microwave them!

313. Why’d the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

Show Answer

Answer

She kept throwing out all the W’s.

314. Because they go answer the door.

Telling jokes is hard, but making them as clever as this one is difficult.

Show Answer

Answer

Why can’t you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?

315. A blonde and a brunette jump from a skyscraper.

Show Answer

Answer

The brunette lands first. Why? The blonde got lost on the way.

316. How do you get a blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday?

Show Answer

Answer

Tell it to her on Tuesday.

15 corny shark jokes

Sharks. The King of the Ocean. They are not to be messed with. Well maybe a little bit, especially if you know great shark jokes.

Here are 15 corny shark jokes.

317. What do you call a solitary shark?

Show Answer

Answer

A loan shark.

318. What did the shark get on his biology test?

While some jokes are great told aloud, this one is definitely at its best when it’s sent in a message.

Show Answer

Answer

A sea-minus.

319. What is a shark’s favorite Bible story?

Show Answer

Answer

Noah’s Shark.

320. What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make?

Show Answer

Answer

Chews wisely.

321. How do you throw a shark out of a bar?

Show Answer

Answer

You cast it out.

Click here to learn more

322. What did the shark tell his friend?

Show Answer

Answer

Water you up to, mate?

323. How do sharks stay up all night?

Show Answer

Answer

They drink jaw-va.

324. What does a shark eat for dinner?

Show Answer

Answer

Whatever it wants!

325. I saw a singing shark once…

Show Answer

Answer

In the Choral Reef.

326. Where are sharks from?

Show Answer

Answer

Finland.

327. What is a sharks favorite sci-fi show?

Show Answer

Answer

Shark Trek.

328. What was the shark’s favorite Pixar movie?

Shocking and hilarious, this joke will have everyone laughing!

Show Answer

Answer

Eating Nemo.

329. How did the hammerhead shark do on his test?

Show Answer

Answer

He nailed it.

330. Having Shark Week is totally racist…

Show Answer

Answer

Because all I hear that week is Great White.

331. Why do sharks live in saltwater?

Show Answer

Answer

Because pepper water would make them sneeze.

18 corny pirate jokes

Pirates are funny for a lot of reasons. From their eye patch to having one leg, pirate jokes are hilarious.

Here are 18 corny pirate jokes:

332. Have you ever heard any good pirate jokes?

Show Answer

Answer

Well neither have ayyye!

333. Where do pirates buy their hooks?

Show Answer

Answer

At a second-hand store.

334. Why did the pirate go out of business?

Show Answer

Answer

He didn’t know how to raise his sales.

335. What do pirates use to treat burns?

Show Answer

Answer

Ahoy Vera.

336. What do you call a philosophical pirate?

Show Answer

Answer

Arrristotle.

337. Why are pirates good boxers?

Show Answer

Answer

They have a mean right hook.

338. How do pirates know they’re pirates?

Oh, a philosophical joke? This one is sure to make the most straight-laced audience laugh.

Show Answer

Answer

They think, therefore they arrrr.

339. Why does it take pirates a long time to learn the alphabet?

Show Answer

Answer

Because they can spend years at C!

340. Pirates make fantastic singers.

Show Answer

Answer

You should hear it when they hit the high Cs.

341. What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates?

Show Answer

Answer

The Steady Relation ship.

342. Why don’t you usually see a pirate that is a smoker?

Show Answer

Answer

Because they use the patch.

343. How do pirates prefer to communicate?

Well you know, eye contact is crucial for great communication.

Show Answer

Answer

Aye to aye!

344. Who was the first pirate?

Show Answer

Answer

Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.

345. Why did the pirate give up playing golf?

Show Answer

Answer

Because he kept hooking the ball.

346. How do pirates make their money?

Show Answer

Answer

By hook or by crook.

347. How did the pirate find out he needed glasses?

Show Answer

Answer

He took an aye exam!

348. 3.14% of sailors are…

Who knew that combining maths and pirates would result in such funny joke?

Show Answer

Answer

Pi Rates.

349. Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.

Show Answer

Answer

That pirate is now known as Captain Hook.

15 corny yet bad jokes

When someone tells bad jokes, it can really bring down the vibe. But these bad jokes are sure to turn that eye roll into laughter.

Here are 15 corny yet bad jokes:

350. What do you call Pride and Prejudice film with subtitles?

Show Answer

Answer

L’Austen translation.

351. How do you work out how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?

Have your audience laughing and headbanging at the same time with this corny joke.

Show Answer

Answer

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

352. Thanks for explaining the word ‘many’ to me…

Show Answer

Answer

It means a lot.

353. What do you call a nose without a body?

Show Answer

Answer

– Nobody knows.

354. How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

Show Answer

Answer

With a tuba glue.

355. Do you know what style of shoes plumbers love the best?

Show Answer

Answer

Clogs.

356. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?

Toilet humor? Check! So bad that it actually makes people laugh! Double-check!

Show Answer

Answer

It runs in your jeans.

357. That awkward moment when you tell a chemistry joke…

Show Answer

Answer

And you get no reaction.

358. I never like jokes about retiring.

Show Answer

Answer

None of them work!

359. Nobody nose…

Show Answer

Answer

How bad you smell!

360. Why didn’t Bach go shopping?

Show Answer

Answer

Because he was baroque.

361. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive…

Jokes about finance can only really be told to a certain audience. But when you find them, make sure you tell them this joke.

Show Answer

Answer

Try missing a couple of payments.

361. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

Show Answer

Answer

Envelope.

362. I love to study the brain.

Show Answer

Answer

I hope you don’t mind.

363. Someone asked who invented the door knocker.

Show Answer

Answer

It doesn’t ring a bell.

Downloadable list of Corny Jokes

Here is a downloadable and printable list of corny jokes (right click the image and select Save Image As…):

More Awesome Jokes

Corny jokes are great but you can’t really use them all the time.

Here are a few more jokes we think you will love:

  1. When you want to seem like the funniest person in the room, you need to have a certain type of joke up your sleeve. Check out our political jokes for some inspiration.
  2. Want your joke to be funny and smart? Then why not check out our guide to the best science jokes?
  3. Some of the best jokes are just plain nerdy. So why not have a look at our nerd jokes for some hilarious jokes?
  4. Bet you never thought that you could tell jokes about Easter? Well here is our list of the best Easter jokes!
  5. We use computers every day, so why not tell a computer joke everyday? Head over to our computer jokes guide for more.

How To Pick The Best Corny Joke

Having a few corny jokes up your sleeve is a great way to break the ice, but how do you pick the best corny joke?

Here is how to pick the best corny joke:

1. Know Your Audience

It’s great having lots of great corny jokes up your sleeve but when you tell a joke to the wrong audience, your comedy act can turn into a tragedy. To make sure that you are picking the right jokes for your audience, think about the kind of things that they like. Do they like clever puns? Do they enjoy wordplay? In other words, the more information you know about your audience, the more likely you are to pick the right joke.

2. Pick Your Setting

This one goes without saying. When you have picked your jokes, make sure that they are suitable for your surroundings. While this might create some unintentional hilarity, telling a lawyer joke in the middle of a court, might not be the best idea.

3. Have fun!

When you pick your jokes and the setting, just have fun with it. Jokes are made to make people laugh. But what makes a joke even funnier is when the person telling the joke is having a great time. So put on your best entertainers hat and get out there!

In Conclusion

Whether you are meeting new people or meeting up with friends, jokes are a great way to break the ice and start a conversation. And while jokes are great, well-chosen corny jokes will have the people around you laughing in no time.

It doesn’t matter which joke you pick, once you have fun telling it. Remember, if you don’t think the joke is funny, then chances are your audience won’t either. Also, performance is key. From overacting for effect to underplaying a corny joke so the punch line really makes an impact, can really help make your jokes even funnier.

So what are you waiting for? Now that you have some of the best corny jokes, why not go out and use them?

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