31 Epic Bad Puns - The Perfect Puns Certified To Make You Laugh Now!

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by | | September 1, 2021


What's baking, soda? This post will be about the groan-worthy bad puns.

Animal puns? Music puns? Love puns? Yeah, we've got all of them, and they're all excellent. But we can give you a worthy share of terrible puns that are so bad that they're good.

Be warned; this post will be so bad (but funny) you'll be laughing nonstop.

Let's start.

Contents

5 Best Bad Puns That Are Good Icebreakers

Now that we know that the worst puns are often the best puns, you won't be surprised to see some genuinely terrible jokes on this list. If it's about a baby ant, a friar, or kleptomania, the possibilities are endless. Are they so bad that they're fantastic? You'll need to read through them and test them out on your friends to find out.

Here are the 5 best bad puns:

1. My sister thinks she's so smart. She said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at her.

Although a little violent, this is the funniest joke that will no doubt amuse lots of people. Of course, it's a bad idea to do this for real.

2. I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

This person was probably having the time of his life. It might take people some time to work this one out, but they will groan loudly when they do. Your father will be proud you let out a dad joke like this one.

3. RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

A short but sweet pun that gets to the point quickly. It's worthy of every grin it receives. It's good to explore your sense of humor then use what you find amusing to tickle the funny bone of other people.

4. Why doesn't the Sun go to college? - Because it has a million degrees.

Raucous laughter ensues! Okay, maybe this silly pun is only good enough to crack a slight smile out of people. But at least it's easy enough to enjoy without needing those million degrees.

5. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? - Well, the flag is a big plus.

This pun is terrible because even though it makes sense, it doesn't quite make sense. If you share this one, let's hope it's your audience's humor.

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6 Worse Puns But Are Cleverly Good

Clever puns challenge us and make our brains try hard to work out the funny joke. Combine this aspect of the trick with the fact that these puns are awful, and you'll be inducing sighs and groans in no time at all. People who love puns often like clever ones the best because it is almost an achievement to find them funny. If you don't use some of these clever puns, you'll be making a big missed steak. Get it?

Here are 6 clever puns:

6. What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

This one is undeniably cheesy. People probably won't be able to guess the punchline, but it is effortlessly funny.

7. Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.

This funny pun might elicit a few giggles. Brush it up before Valentine's day because a good sense of humor is sexy! Remember to smile and laugh yourself because laughter is contagious.

8. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.

Who isn't down for a laugh? People might need to take a second or two to think about the punchline, but clever puns do up the ante for good humor.

9. So what if I don't know what apocalypse means? It's not the end of the world!

The delivery is everything if you choose to go with this bad pun (that's also a really good pun). Make sure to keep a serious face and wait for the reactions of those that get it.

10. Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.

A wordplay like this is best when spoken aloud. Of course, everyone will have their own opinions, but you're sure to be considered a talon-ted jokester.

11. I made a pun about the wind, but it blows.

This is a short pun that gets right to the punchline. Get a few of these up your sleeves, and you'll be punstoppable!

4 Puns About Animals That Are Hilariously Bad

Everyone loves animals, and almost everyone loves a bad joke. So, when you combine them, you get a hilariously bad punchline that is so terrible that it's amusing. Animal puns can be great for any kid because they are very accessible - even young kids have heard of many different types of animals. Bird puns? Dog puns? Cat puns? Yeah, we love animals.

Here are 4 bad animal puns:

12. What do you call a thieving alligator? A crookodile!

This one truly is a terrible pun. If you were looking for corny and funny animal cracks, this was it.

13. Why do cows go to New York? To see the moosicals!

This animal pun will make people shake their heads. It's definitely corny, but it's outstanding in its field.

14. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!

Did you imagine that you could make so many jokes about cows? They are udder nonsense, but it's what makes them funny.

15. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad away!

Although this punchline is very obvious, and kids will love this. Crack it at a kiddie birthday, maybe?

4 Short Puns That You Can Throw Anytime

Want to keep things snappy and make your friends shake their heads in disappointment in the fastest time possible? Short puns are precisely what you're looking for. Memorize some of these short puns so that you can throw them out whenever the urge arises.

Here are 4 short puns:

16. Aim for the stars! But first, take care of the bodyguards.

We’re not sure where hopeless puns and jokes started, but they’ve become an art form. This insanely bad punchline will make people groan before they chuckle.

17. Have you heard about the Italian cook with an incurable disease? He pastaway.

This one is a pun that many chefs (and maybe Twitter, too) will appreciate. If you're looking for something simple and funny to post on your social media, try a pun, and you're sure to get a few likes.

18. A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.

If you're bored at the airport, you can amuse your family with this awful pun. Maybe just make sure your suitcases have traveled with you if you do.

19. Once you contract an infection of the bladder, urine trouble.

Can you think of a situation where this bad medical pun would be welcome? Perhaps your doctor will find it pun-tastic.

3 Terrible Puns To Tell During Christmas

Kids are often really amused by Christmas puns and jokes, but adults can find them enjoyable too. Not because terrible puns are hilariously funny, but because everyone can be united in the agreement that they are dreadful. They're even more horrifying than a bad knock-knock joke.

Here are 3 bad Christmas puns:

20. Why did the elf go to the Podiatrist? Because he had mistletoe.

As long as everyone knows what a podiatrist is, this is amusing. Entertaining and humorous jokes are just what the doctor ordered.

21. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

The punchline to this joke isn't too difficult to guess, but there is still something merry about it. Sleigh Christmas dinner and share this one with the family.

22. What is an elf’s favorite kind of music? ‘Wrap’ music.

People might appreciate this wordplay for some light entertainment at Christmas time. Even the ghost of Christmas past will try not to laugh.

4 Dreadful Puns About Love That Are Moodsetters

Whether you are talking to your crush or in a long-term relationship, you can use these dreadful love puns to upset and confuse the apple of your eye. If they laugh, you should be wary of them as they are not honest with you - these puns are groan-inducing (at best).

Here are 4 bad love puns:

23. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber.

Comparing someone to a vegetable might not impress them that much, but hey, isn't the idea to get a smile. This is cringe-worthy but still pulls at the heartstrings. Rest assured, this one is cute.

24. Don’t go bacon my heart.

You'll probably receive a sympathetic smirk in return for using this. Live on the fun side of romance and just hope your wife or girlfriend loves bacon.

25. I love you s’more each day.

This is one of the best puns to use on someone you love. Give them an extra sweet treat and fill them up with laughter.

26. You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te.

Using this is really a great way to confuse someone. You can experiment though, and see if your friends will get it.

5 Nerdy Puns Based On Math That Are Hopeless

Do you know someone who loves math? These bad math puns will be a hit if you want to amuse and also confuse. Many of these are easy to understand - the punchlines are pretty simple. However, friends and family members might find it hard to know why you are telling such hilariously hopeless jokes in the first place.

Here are 5 bad math puns:

27. What do you call a number that can’t sit still? A roamin’ numeral!

Make math fun with this carefully crafted farce. Say enough and they're bound to add up to some joyous giggles. Just be ready for the aftermath.

28. A farmer counted 297 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 300.

This is bound to get a snicker out of somebody. Besides, number jokes make learning fun!

29. Why do they never serve beer at a math party? Because you can’t drink and derive…

Why not try this one out on a friend that loves math? Just don't get lost on a tangent, or the joke will never end.

30. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? His parents wouldn’t Cosine.

It might take a moment for people to work this one out, but you'll get an acute smile when they do.

31. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point!

A gag that everyone can understand. You might get an eye roll or two, but we know deep down inside there is chuckling.

Downloadable and Printable List of Bad Puns

Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of puns that are awful (right-click the image and select Save Image As...):

Frequently Asked Questions

Sharing is caring, so spread the fun vibes. You might have a few questions first though.

What makes a pun, terrible?

Most puns are fun wordplay, but sometimes people just don't get it. If it's met with cynicism, then the joke will likely be lost on that person. Really, terrible puns, like terrible jokes, are when the punchline just doesn't hit home. Either there is too much ambiguity, or it's too complex to enjoy.

How do I get over a bad pun?

Puns aren't controversial, but they can be considered totally useless jokes. If you did the delivery and it was really that awful, make sure to follow up with better material. If it was told to you, share some of the ones you read in this article so they know what the definition of a good pun is.

What figure of speech is a pun?

Puns are simply a play on words. Either the word you use has a different meaning to another word, or they sound the same. The other option is to use a word that has more than one meaning. They're generally intended to be funny.

How can I be really funny?

Well, first of all, learn to appreciate witty and fun wordplay. You'll find this essential with a lot of jokes. To be a really funny guy or gal, you need to know your audience and then put yourself in the spotlight. Share personal stories that others will find amusing. Delivery is a huge factor with punchlines and the telling of jokes. Watch professional comedians see how they do it and mimic their style. Find what suits you. It all comes down to perseverance at the end of the day because you'll improve with time.

How to Pick the Best Bad Puns

Often, the best puns are ones that make the person you're talking to think. You don't want the punchline to be too obvious. You don't want the person to work out what you're going to say before you have said it. This is why some double meaning works best with puns. Follow the tips below to pick the best lousy puns and have a Fanta stick time!

Here is how to pick the best bad puns:

1. Consider the relevance

It's not that you shouldn't use Christmas puns unless it is Christmas time or Halloween puns unless it's Halloween. But it can be helpful to think about how relevant the joke you're planning to use is to a situation. For example, if you choose a math pun, think about why you have selected this category. Does the person you're talking to love math? If not, it is best to choose a more general category of jokes. If you're talking to kids, choose puns that are kid-friendly. And when you're talking to the bartender? Maybe an orange soda or soft drink-related pun would work!

2. Don't get too silly

Think about picking a bad one that matches the person's level of comprehension. That is to say, don't get too silly with the jokes if you're talking to a clever adult and, equally, don't try to make young children laugh with clever puns that go right over their heads. Tailor your choices to your audience. Otherwise, they'll feel like they need a brain transplant with your kind of humor.

3. Think about the medium

This consideration is essential because some jokes only work when written down, and others only work when spoken aloud. It would be best if you thought about this when deciding which puns to use and how you will deliver them - either said in person or on the phone or via message.

More Puns to Share or Start A Conversation With

Using puns not only amuses the person you're talking to but also makes you seem funny, intelligent, and quick-witted. If you're hoping to find some awesome puns that you can use on your friends, look no further:

  1. Most of us have a few friends who are really into Harry Potter. To make them laugh, you can try using some hilarious Harry Potter puns.
  2. If you're looking for the most clever puns, then you can't go wrong with this list. These Reader's Digest puns are sure to make you laugh.
  3. Puns related to biology and anatomy can be hilarious and easy for the other person to understand. Check out these biology puns and see which ones are your favorites.

In Conclusion

Now that you have lots of ideas for bad puns, you can write down your favorites and use the best ones whenever a relevant situation arises.

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