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Do you want to know what makes the worst dad jokes the funniest?
It's all in the delivery. Turn any cringey dad jokes into the most hilarious dad jokes just by practicing your delivery.
Having written tons of articles about jokes, awkward questions, and funny questions to ask that generate a thousand views each month, I'm confident that I can help you find the best dad jokes to tell. So, I've come up with the list of ultimate dad jokes, if you will.
Let's begin.
Contents
The Ultimate List of Bad Dad Jokes
Dad jokes are almost always bad ones, but that's what makes them so funny and entertaining. They're corny and hilarious, at the same time. They're perfect for breaking the ice and easing tension.
Bad dad jokes can strike a balance between being cringey and amusing, and that's why a lot of people (not just dads) use them on a daily to start up conversations. If you are looking for the ultimate list of bad dad jokes, you've come to the right place.
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Dad Jokes
6 Absolute Worst Dad Jokes Of All Time
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Have you ever heard of a dad joke that immediately puts you in a semi-permanent cringe position? These jokes are too bad that they're the absolute best. Make sure you share these corny jokes with your friends.
Here are 6 absolute worst dad jokes to have ever existed:
1. What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? They're both Paris sites.
You can never go wrong with starting a good time with a hilarious comparison joke. Just wait until you hear some snickers from your friends.
2. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
This joke will make you hold your waist from laughing too much. So, it is not much of a waste of time if you have a good time and a good laugh.
3. I was wondering why this frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
Do you know who'll hit you next from laughing too much? Your friend who is right next to you. Tell this joke with matching actions, and you're set.
via: Unsplash / Stefano Zocca
4. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
Can you imagine if dinosaurs before spoke English or any other human language? They'd be telling loads of incredible stories with each other.
5. Why can’t you trust stairs? They're always up to something.
Technically, stairs are not always up to something. Sometimes, they can also let you down. (Made that one up myself.)
6. What's the difference in how you cure bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment, and if you have swine flu, you just need oink-ment.
This joke will reward you with an eye roll and exasperated sighs from whoever hears it. Make sure to prepare yourself for all of your friends' reactions that will follow.
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7. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Now, this is a classic dad joke. What do you call a gummy bear with teeth, though? That's a joke for another day.
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7 Worst But Corny Jokes Ever Used By Dads
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Corny jokes and dad jokes are pretty much interchangeable. But we all know that the corniest jokes are high up the tier list of hilarity. As all dads think, the cornier the joke, the better.
Here are the 7 worst corny jokes used by dads:
8. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
Get it? Because a lunge is a big step forward? If you're a dad, make sure you say this one with a straight face.
9. How can you tell by someone's home if they're a highway robber? All the signs will be there.
What signs? Oh, these signs? I got them while I was on the road. This one will STOP anyone from their tracks.
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10. Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.
This joke is funny on so many levels. It's simple, yet it can get anyone hearing it to guffaw. Save it for a starter joke.
11. Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable.
As terrible as your delivery could be, this one is promising. Plus points if you unleash this one to someone working in a paper company. Did they say this on The Office?
12. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
Remember watching Peter Pan as a kid? Although that movie did not age well, I know that every kid wanted to visit Neverland. Imagine getting to play all day?
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13. Why are piggy banks so wise? They're filled with common cents.
If you're a fan of Toy Story, you'd know that Hamm's piggy bank is a no-nonsense character. So I'd say that this joke has a factual basis.
14. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.
This is one of the more annoying jokes that will reward you with arm hits and exasperated groans and sighs. Still, we're not saying that this is a bad joke.
7 Terrible Dad Jokes But Are Funny Enough For Kids
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Some dad jokes can pass as jokes for kids. Today, we'll share some funnies that you can tell your children or any kids you have in your life. Get ready to impress.
Here are 7 kid-friendly dad jokes:
15. Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they golf? In case they get a hole in one!
If you're wearing shoes, it's best to bring extra socks. You never know when you need an extra pair for an emergency. So it's better to be prepared.
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16. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sophisticated.
A fish wearing a bowtie is a marvelous sight to behold. Imagine the trouble a fishkeeper goes through to get a fish to wear a bowtie. Seeing a video of that would be much funnier.
17. What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam.
The fish in this scene has to be freshwater fish. The oceans and seas are vast. So if the fish suddenly finds itself near the shore, it would probably say "beach."
18. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
Although honey is usually included in hair care formulas, manufacturers dilute it to the point that it doesn't stick. The same can't be said for lathering pure honey on your head full of hair.
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19. Where do young trees go to learn? Elementary school.
As an additional joke, try: Where do baby trees go when they're born? The nursery. No? Not funny enough? Well, let's head on to the next one.
20. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse.
Every child wanted a pony at one point. Ponies are incredibly cute and awesome. This one is sure to make some giggles out of the children.
21. Can you drop an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it? Yes, concrete floors are very hard to break.
This joke is just a matter of understanding. Some people might not get it immediately, but kids surely will. It can also pass off as an English subject joke to say in class just to break the ice.
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5 Awful One Liner Dad Jokes That Can Lighten Up The Mood
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Want to know how to diffuse an awkward situation? Letting out a funny one-liner can help break the ice. Just make sure that you say each one nonchalantly and confidently.
Here are 5 one-liner jokes to lighten up awkward moments:
22. Can February March? No, but April May!
This great joke is a classic, so everyone will surely get the idea. Get more laugh points if you're with someone named April. That would be hilarious.
23. Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas.
Speaking of hilarious, perfectly delivering any mountain jokes can really make you feel like you're on top of the world. Be sure to enjoy the epic feeling of being the funny guy in your group with this favorite joke.
24. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Get it? It's a stick! Now, what's blue and looks like a stick? A stick that's painted blue!
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25. What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What's considered a baby computer—is it some sort of a handheld device, like a smartphone or an actual computer owned by a baby? Questions like this might keep up at night.
26. I'm afraid of the calendar. Its days are numbered.
A classic yet hilarious joke to tell any unsuspecting person, this joke will reward you with some harsh sighs and stifled laughs. Another corny joke would be: "I hope I were a calendar, so I always have dates."
5 Knock Knock Jokes You Hear From Your Father That'll Make You Cringe
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The effectiveness of knock knock jokes solely depends on how you deliver them. If you want to develop your knock-knock skills, try practicing these jokes that are funny and cringey at the same time.
Here are 5 cringe-worthy knock-knock jokes:
27. Knock Knock! Who's there? Amos. Amos who? A mosquito bit me!
This joke really bites, huh? Like mosquitos, your friends might find you pesky, but it's high time for you to unleash your cringey jokes on unwilling listeners.
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28. Knock knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome.
This is an ingenious way to rake in gratitude for your good-natured yet bad dad joke. Well, they really should be thanking you for trying to make them laugh—even though it's hard.
29. Knock Knock! Who's there? Barbie. Barbie who? Barbie Q chicken.
Among the jokes that don't really make sense, this one is up in the Top 20, at least. Some jokes don't really need to make that much sense.
30. Knock Knock! Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Aww, don't cry. It's just a knock-knock joke.
Imagine if someone tried this terrible joke on another person, but they said "boo" like a ghost. Then the other person would say, "Boo! Who?" That's a pretty aggressive way to cry.
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31. Knock knock. Who's there? Hawaii. Hawaii who? I'm fine, Hawaii you?
This terrible dad joke is a classic joke to bug your friends with. Careful sharing this one with people who like to correct pronunciations. They'll say it's pronounced "huh-WAH-ee" or "hu-VAH-ee."
6 Dad Jokes To Tell During Christmas That Are A Complete Failure
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Eye rolls, countless head shakes, and no doubt heavy sighs are to follow after these complete failure of dad jokes! But that's what makes them more funny. Purposedly failing to hit the mark, isn't that what dad jokes really are?
Here are 6 dad jokes sure to fail at Christmas:
32. What's the most popular Christmas wine? ‘I don’t like Brussels sprouts!’
Feeding kids and even adults veggies during Christmas can be a total nightmare. But we still have to keep the meals balanced and healthy eve during Christmas. Tip: Reward kids who eat their veggies with some Christmas candy.
33. How can you tell snowmen from snowwomen? Check for snowballs.
You can just ask the one who created them if the snowperson's a girl, a boy, or neither—but that would be the boring solution. Either way, this joke will surely reward you with some chuckles. You can also check for facial hair.
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34. How do Christmas angels greet each other? "Halo!"
That is if they're not the Biblical angels who don't really have halos. Imagine how real angels communicate—better watch Good Omens for some reference.
35. What is the most competitive season? Winter!
This might go over the head of some people, but it's a hilarious joke nonetheless. To make sure that you'll win the precious laughs of your friends, punch your hands to the sky when you say "Win."
36. What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple!
Ah, it's the pen-pine-apple-pen joke all over again but more Christmas-y. Regardless, this one will work for listeners of all ages.
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37. Are you Christmas? 'Cause I wanna marry you!
This pun is not only a perfect dad joke. It's also the perfect proposal starter for any fun-loving couple out there. Telling the love of your life this joke under the mistletoe is just *Chef's kiss*.
History Of Dad Jokes
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Dad jokes are short jokes that are intently humorous. Typically puns, dad jokes are usually designed as questions and answers. And although the true origin of dad jokes is unknown, short puns have existed hundreds, if not thousands, of years ago.
5 Famous Celebrities That Are Masters of Dad Jokes
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Celebrities can make jokes just as any regular dad can. A great thing about this is that when we learn that they are notoriously funny at home, we know that they are the same as anybody else. These people just want to make their loved ones laugh and enjoy their company, which is what any comedian really wants.
If you want to know which famous celebrities are masters at cracking dad jokes, this list can narrow them down for you.
Here are 4 famous celebrities that are masters of dad jokes:
1. Ryan Reynolds
Known best for his role as Deadpool, this famous actor is recognized by beloved fans as the King of Puns on social media (Twitter and Instagram)—with his beautiful wife and kids as the usual butt of his hilarious jokes.
2. Barack Obama
Who knew that former-POTUS Barack Obama had some funny dad jokes up his sleeve? His dad jokes during Thanksgiving a few years ago are some excellent examples of his good humor.
3. Chris Pratt
Chris Prat is another famous actor who doubles as a comedic genius. If you've watched his interviews, you'll know how hilarious this guy is, especially when it comes to corny dad jokes.
4. Will Smith
His children often try to stop him from making dad jokes, especially during important interviews. Try searching "Will Smit Ultimate Dad Joke" on Youtube, and you'll see why he's a funny dad joke connoisseur.
5. Tracy Morgan
Bonafide comedic genius Tracy Morgan does not shy away from dad jokes. If you've watched any of his stand-up shows, you've probably seen his cringey dad jokes in action.
Why Do We Always Associate Terrible Jokes To Dads?
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Eye-rolling jokes that are so bad you can't help but cringe? You're definitely talking about dad jokes. But why are these jokes called "dad jokes?" Let's find out.
Many experts believe that "dad jokes "come from the personal views of children to their parents. To elaborate further, children like to associate "lameness" with their parents. And as a generational culture, lame puns turned into what we call today as "dad jokes."
Fun fact, in Korea, dad jokes are called "아재개그" or "ajaegaegeu." "Ajae" is a shortened version of "아저씨" or "ajeossi," which translates to "middle-aged man." So dad jokes are literally called "middle-aged man jokes."
Top 5 Dad Jokes Book
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Do you want to improve your (or your dad's) joking skills? These short joke books on our site here make excellent gifts for dad and any funny friend you have.
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The Very Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes: Because Your Dad Thinks He's Hilarious
This collection of dad jokes is a must-have for any father or even other funny individuals. With a 4.5 out of 5 customer rating, you can definitely expect to get a lot of hilariously cringey jokes out of this one.
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The Ultimate Dad Joke Book: 501 Hilarious Puns, Funny One-Liners and Clean Cheesy Dad Jokes for Kids
Make yourself the funny dad or uncle by showcasing your punny skills. Give the kids in your life lighthearted jokes and one-liners that they'll remember.
via: Author / Elias Hill
101 So Bad, They're Good Dad Jokes
Ever heard of extremely bad dad jokes that are incredibly funny? This dad joke book is full of 'em! Check them out and refresh and replenish your pun arsenal.
via: Author / Taylor Calmus
A Daily Dose of Dad Jokes: 365 Truly Terrible Wisecracks (You've Been Warned)
A joke a day keeps the sadness away. That's what I always say. This joke book contains enough jokes for a year.
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Spiffy McChappy
Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes: So frightfully awful.. yet wonderfully spiffing
The worst dad jokes are always the best. This book of bad dad jokes features the most toe-curling, cringey jokes ever known to man.
How To Pick The Worst Dad Jokes
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The best dad joke with a sincere humorous intent must be the most relatable one (like the ones we listed above). The key to delivering cringe-worthy jokes is by practicing them on your own or on other people.
Downloadable and Printable List of Worst Dad Jokes of All Time
Here is a downloadable and printable jpeg/pdf list of worst dad jokes (right-click the image and select Save Image As...):
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Frequently Asked Questions
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Have some questions about dad puns? We got you! We'll answer the most asked questions here.
What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad?
You call that person a comedian—it's that easy. Most jokers love to make other people laugh, so encouraging them to do so by calling them funny or complimenting their joke skills is the right thing to do.
What makes dad jokes good and funny?
Dad jokes are universal. Anyone can relate to dad jokes because they can literally be about any random thing under the sun.
Why do fathers always give bad jokes?
Bad dad jokes are usually associated with dads, perhaps it's because they use these jokes to get closer to their kids. Great dads want to make their kids laugh.
How should I respond with my father constantly throwing terrible jokes even if we have guests?
Depending on why you have guests over, you can either quietly tell your dad to take a break from his comedy show for a night or just let him tell jokes to lighten the mood.
Why are "dad jokes" hilariously bad?
Puns are generally bad on their own. Unless you have a solid delivery, none of the puns will fly high.
More Jokes and Puns To Share A Laugh With
Can't get enough of corny and best jokes? Good for you, we have a selection of great jokes to make people laugh out loud.
- Coffee jokes might be up your alley. Find the hottest jokes here.
- Music puns might be your ultimate bet when it comes to jokes. Check out the best ones here.
- Want to catch a nice girl through your humor? These funny jokes to tell a girl can make that possible.
In Conclusion
We hope that these worst dad jokes made your day.
It's your time to turn jokes other funny questions to ask into hilarious dad jokes that would be worthy to get featured in the list of ultimate dad jokes.
Remember, the fan-favorite dad jokes and best dad jokes are all in the delivery.
