28 Best One Liner Jokes - This is the only list you need.

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Nothing gets a good laugh better than funny one liner jokes thrown at the right time.

We all need a mood booster once in a while. These one liner jokes will do the trick. These one liners will make any conversation with anyone more lively. It doesn't matter who you're talking to. If you thrown in a line or two from this list, then the conversation's going to be better than it already is.

So don't wait any longer and dive into the best list of funny one liner jokes and try them on anyone you see fit to hear these witty lines.

Contents

5 Best one liner jokes

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The best jokes are those that don't take so much time to say. Short and sweet. The best one liner jokes are those that say so much with just a simple line. You can get so many people laughing with just these short sentences.

Here are the 5 best one liner jokes:

1. Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back.

When you're really in need, there's should be a pessimist somewhere to turn to.

2. People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Now I'm getting hungry.

via: Unsplash / Ramiro Martinez

3. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.

We know where that habit of not reading any terms and conditions came from.

4. Change is inevitable—except from a vending machine.

We can only hope the line applies to vending machines, too.

via: Pexels / Rojan Maguyon

5. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing!

The real question is how would you know when a tomato blushes since it's already red?

5 dad one liner jokes

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Dad jokes are cringeworthy, am I right? But they're a whole lot of fun. Double the fun with one liner dad jokes. They're so cringy they'll make your eyes roll, but you'll be laughing deep inside.

Here are 5 dad one liner jokes:

6. A perfectionist walked into a bar...apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough.

Don't let a perfectionist into your bar.

via: Pexels / ELEVATE

7. I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is ‘Goodbye.’

You should teach your money to say other things, then.

8. Women should not have children after 35 — 35 children are enough!

Don't populate the world too much!

via: Pexels / Anna Shvets

9. If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

There's no other use for that but for us to see what midnight snack we should have.

10. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.

That's a positive sign.

4 computer one liner jokes

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Are you ready to type in these computer jokes? One line about computers is all you need to get that conversation running in a good mood.

Here are 4 computer one liner jokes:

11. Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

He was ahead of his time.

via: Pexels / PhotoMIX Company

12. A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.

It's funny because it's true.

13. I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

That's better than typing 8 random character names.

4 corny one liner jokes

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Not all jokes were blessed to be funny. Some of them are corny jokes, and that's alright. Sometimes, we need a switch up from the usual funny ones. We need jokes that are so corny we can't help but let out a forced laugh (that's really making us laugh deep inside).

Here are 4 corny one liner jokes:

14. I once saw two people wrapped in a barcode and had to ask — “are you an item?”

I hope they don't cringe at your question.

via: Pexels / Abi Greer

15. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Hard drinks would make everything worse.

16. How do people make new mates? Asking for a friend.

Cracking this joke is one way.

via: Pexels / Ketut Subiyanto

17. Insects really bug me!

They just won't stop bugging you, right?

3 bad one liner jokes

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Some jokes are so bad they're good. These bad jokes are just those. The best thing about this is that you won't expect a laugh from it, but when they do laugh, you know you've got the makings of a comedian.

Here are 3 bad one liner jokes:

18. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

They won't know what attacked them.

19. I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy.

Who knew men had just one phobia?

via: Pexels / Git Stephen Gitau

20. Who's the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.

And here I thought all along that it was eggplant.

4 punny one liner jokes

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Pun intended. Punny jokes are one of the best kinds of jokes because they're so witty. These punny one liner jokes will have people rolling on the floor laughing. Or maybe not.

Here are 4 punny one liner jokes:

21. I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.

I had to use both hands.

via: Pexels / Oladimeji Ajegbile

22. Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.

I think he stole twelve months.

23. Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap.

And you're now trapped.

via: Pexels / Suzy Hazelwood

24. Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

I'm now wrong, am I?

4 stupid one liner jokes

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Jokes should be funny and witty, that we all know. But there are some instances that stupid jokes take the cake. Make sure you have some stupid one liner jokes in your list of jokes for maximum fun.

Here are 4 stupid one liner jokes:

25. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.

Hopefully, the next owner doesn't gather dust with it.

26. Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

What a waste of calories!

via: Pexels / cottonbro

27. What do you call an old snowman? Water

This joke is just so bad, but it's true!

28. I’m having an introvert party and you’re all not invited.

What did you expect?

How to Pick the best one liner jokes

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We all know that everything on this list is a great one liner joke, but how can you make sure that you pick the best ones that really suit what you're doing? That's easy because you have us. Just take these 3 things into consideration when you're picking the best one liner jokes and you'll be good to go.

Here is how to pick the best one liner jokes:

1. Everyone Is Welcome.

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Before you pick your jokes, consider your audience. Of course, everyone is welcome to hear your brilliant one-liner jokes, so you have to put in jokes that would work best on different types of people. Consider who you're telling the joke to and move from there.

2. Mix It Up.

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Even if you might have just one type of audience, make sure that you mix your list of jokes up. When you put in just one type of joke, it can get repetitive and boring. Mix it up for maximum laughter. You can assure the people hearing your jokes that they won't get bored.

3. Deliver It Well.

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A big part of saying a joke is how you deliver it. Sometimes, a joke seems good on paper, but once you tell it, it's just a miss. Make sure you put in jokes that you know you can deliver well, because your delivery is the biggest part of the joke.

Downloadable and Printable List of Best One Liner Jokes

Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of best one liner jokes (right click the image and select Save Image As...):

via: Gamertelligence

More Hilarious Jokes to Share or Start a conversation With

If you enjoyed these one liner jokes, then it's time to spread out. You don't have to stick to short and sweet jokes. Try out some other kinds of jokes now:

1. Knock knock. Who's there? This list. This list who? This list of bad knock knock jokes is so bad you just have to laugh.
2. Wake up the jokester in you with this coffee jokes.
3. Love jokes are the way to go when you know you're feeling comfortable with the one.

In Conclusion

That's all the funny one liner jokes you need. It's a big list so you can always revisit for when you need a new one that you haven't included in your initial list. These one-liner jokes are short but funny. That's all that jokes really need to be. Good luck in making the world a funnier place in the shortest way possible.