Jasper Chase | Mar 4, 2021 | 0
38 Best Christmas Puns - This is the only list you'll need.
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This holiday season, why not make things a little extra merry with a few Christmas puns?
Puns, jokes, riddles - whatever you want to call them - these fun little phrases will have your family and friends laughing their heads off this Christmas.
While puns are always fun, Christmas jokes are especially hilarious during this period, as everyone is already thinking about everything holiday-related.
These Christmas puns are famous for family dinners, unwrapping presents, or playing outside in the snow.
Choose from these fun jokes, and your Christmas will be even more special this year as you and your family sit around and make each other laugh.
7 Best christmas puns
Choose from these Christmas puns, and you can feel confident in your ability of making people laugh. These are the best of the best.
Here are the 7 best Christmas puns:
1. Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.
If Santa is on your mind, then I guess you’re feeling “Santa-Mental.” Or perhaps you’re “mental” (as in crazy) about Santa, and you just can’t wait for him to visit.
2. What does Rudolph do when Santa drives too fast? Hold on for deer life.
This is a fun “dad joke” that’ll either have people groaning or laughing nonstop. Either way, it’s a memorable pun that is sure to make an impact.
3. What did Santa and Mrs. Clause name their daughter? Mary Christmas.
Another neat and clever pun that will stick in the minds of your family and friends. After all, what else would these parents name their child?
4. Why can’t vampires bite snowmen? They’ll get frostbite.
If Halloween and Christmas somehow collided, you might get a situation like this. Of course, Vampires probably wouldn’t try to bite Snowmen due to the obvious lack of blood.
5. What does alcoholic Santa rely on most? His rein-beers.
Sure, there isn’t much thought behind these fun little Christmas pun. But hey, when you’re drinking a few beers at Christmas time, this joke fits right in.
6. What do you say when you give someone a set of spices for Christmas? Season’s greetings.
This one might take a while for people to get it, but when they do… They’ll probably laugh. For extra points, actually get them a set of spices and tell them this joke!
7. Elves are always defending the shape of their ears. They make some good points.
Fun fact: an offensive term for elves is “pointy ears.” They may not like this term, but it definitely fits. After all, their ears are very pointy.
7 funny christmas puns
If you really want to have your friends and family rolling on the floor laughing, you need to try out these funny puns.
Here are 7 funny Christmas puns:
8. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
Now technically, Adam and Eve were alive long before the birth of Christ. So the concept of them celebrating Christmas doesn’t make sense. However, it is quite funny.
9. Why did they ask the turkey to join the band? He had the drum sticks.
It makes sense that they asked the turkey to join the band. After all, it’s pretty hard to play the drums without any drum sticks.
10. Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.
Although this might not be the cleverest joke in the world, it’ll probably succeed in putting a few smiles on people’s faces this holiday.
11. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.
Does Santa Claus really enjoy all the soot that he must get covered with when he comes down the chimney? Maybe not - but this joke is still funny.
12. What kind of music do elves love the most? Wrap.
It’ll probably take a while for people to finally understand this joke, so you might have to help them out a bit with some miming while you tell the pun.
13. What do you give a depressed elf? An elf-help book.
This joke has it all. A funny premise, a great punch line, and clever wording. Use this during virtually any Christmas occasion, and you won’t be disappointed.
14. What’s the forecast for Christmas Eve? Rain, dear.
This one works great if you manage to get the delivery just right. Really space out the two words “rain” and “deer,” and you’ll be guaranteed a few laughs.
7 christmas puns one liners
One-liners are a great way to make Christmas a little more fun this year. The great thing about puns one liners is that they’re simple and easy to remember.
Here are 7 Christmas puns one liners:
15. I love you from head to mistletoe.
For extra points, say this one while you’re standing underneath the mistletoe. It’s short and sweet - and this pun might even get you a kiss.
16. I'm Claus-trophobic.
You could set up this joke by saying something like “I don’t like Santa.” Then why people ask you why, you can say, “Cause I’m Claus-trophobic.”
17. I love when candy canes are in mint condition.
Oh snap! This cute little one-liner is a great choice whenever you’re eating candy canes. Say it with a totally straight face and watch your friends and family slowly realize the joke.
18. Your decorations look treemendous.
This is a great joke to try if you ever want to compliment your family on their Christmas tree decorations and tell a funny joke at the same time.
19. Don’t get caught elvesdropping on Santa!
This one might be a good choice on Christmas eve, when everyone is getting ready for bed. You might offer this warning right before everyone heads to sleep, as Santa is about to arrive.
20. The Christmas alphabet has noel.
No “L!” Get it? Get It?! Seriously though, this joke is pretty funny, and it’ll at least put a smile on their face. Best case scenario, they’ll start laughing uncontrollably.
21. She has high elf-esteem.
For best results, use this joke when you’re watching a holiday movie with elves involved. Then you can say this at just the right time to get everyone laughing.
7 clever christmas puns
If you really want to activate your friends’ and family’s neurons this Christmas, try these clever Christmas puns on for size.
Here are 7 clever Christmas puns:
22. A round of Santa-plause, please.
Maybe you can tell this joke after performing something truly amazing during Christmas, like making an amazing meal or decorating the Christmas tree by yourself.
23. We have great chemis-tree.
Perhaps you could say this joke to your loved one as you stand right beside the Christmas tree. Give a nod to the tree while you say it for extra effect.
24. Why did the doctor warn the dad not to eat Christmas decorations? He didn’t want him to catch tinsel-itis.
The premise of this joke is just so ridiculous - and that’s what makes it so funny. Of course, the punchline is pretty on point as well.
25. What did the English teacher call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
In case you were wondering, a subordinate clause is a part of a sentence that cannot stand on its own as a complete sentence. It depends on another clause to make sense.
26. What is Rudolph’s occupation during the summer? Pole dancer.
Hey, Rudolph has to pay the bills, right? It’s not his fault that Leading Santa’s sleigh is a seasonal gig.
27. Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman? He’s cool.
Simple, funny, and straight to the point. You really can’t go wrong with this question - even if it might cause a few people to roll their eyes at you.
28. How you can tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents!
Now this joke is truly clever. For added effect, really draw out the punchline, and make sure to put extra emphasis on the word “presents.”
4 short christmas puns
Sometimes, it’s best to keep jokes nice and quick with these short puns. After all, your friends and family are probably going to be distracted by a ton of other things this Christmas.
Here are 4 short Christmas puns:
29. How rude-olf of you.
This is a great little Christmas pun to remember. It’s also a great way to deal with the odd Christmas argument - they’ll simply be forced to burst out laughing.
30. Believe in your elf.
Obviously, this is meant to be a play on the phrase “believe in yourself.” Timing is everything with this joke, so maybe bring it out when someone is displaying self-esteem issues.
31. Icy what you did there.
This funny little pun works best if you’re outside in the freezing cold. Perhaps someone else will make a joke, and then you can follow up with this line.
32. I’m a gangsta wrappa!
This little pun is an excellent choice when you’re all wrapping presents together - or better yet, when someone compliments your present-wrapping skills.
6 bad christmas puns
Sometimes, bad puns are actually hilarious. You know that moment when a joke is so bad that it actually becomes genius? That’s what these jokes are all about.
Here are 6 bad Christmas puns:
33. What is the best Christmas present? A broken drum – you just can’t beat it!
Cue slow clap. This Christmas joke is so bad that you really can’t help but laugh… So it’s actually pretty funny.
34. Why did Santa go to jail? He sleighed an elf.
Yikes. This one might be a little too dark for children, but it might make someone with a sick sense of humor howl with laughter.
35. What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a rest from delivering presents? Santa Pause!
Don’t be surprised if there’s a long, awkward silence after you tell this joke. To make it even more terrible (or funny) smile and nod like it’s the greatest joke in the world.
36. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
This one isn’t actually isn’t terrible. Sure, it might be a little questionable, but the effort is there. Say it with confidence, and who knows? Maybe people will laugh.
37. What did the sea Say to Santa? Nothing! It just waved!
A new twist on an age-old joke. This is the kind of joke you hear in elementary school... and yes, everyone has heard it a million times before in some variation.
38. What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don't smoke, it's bad for my elf!
This one is another example of a joke that might be "so bad that it's actually good."
How to Pick the best Christmas puns
Picking the best Christmas puns isn’t always easy, but you can make sure your jokes are funnier than ever by following this simple guide. With these tips, your jokes will have an even higher chance of making people laugh during Christmas.
Here is how to pick the best Christmas puns:
1. Timing is Everything
When you pull out a new Christmas pun, it’s important that you choose the right time. For example, you might want to save a joke about presents for when you’re unwrapping gifts.
Or perhaps you’ll use your joke about snowmen when you’re outside building a snowman with your family. Timing is everything.
2. Choose Jokes That Are Great for the Whole Family
Remember that during Christmas, you’re probably going to be spending time with your family. When choosing Christmas jokes, make sure that you’re picking options that your whole family will love.
It’s all too easy to pick jokes that you and your friends might think are funny, but these jokes might not be appropriate for your parents and your younger siblings.
3. Trust Your Sense of Humor
You probably have an amazing sense of humor, so just pick the jokes that you think are the best. Remember, a huge part of comedy is confidence. Tell your jokes with a sense of self-assuredness, and you can’t go wrong.
Downloadable and printable list of Christmas Puns as jpg or pdf
Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of Christmas puns (right click the image and select Save Image As...):
More Witty Puns to Share or Start a conversation With
If you’re looking for more jokes or witty phrases, all you need to do is check out these additional resources. Even if it’s not Christmas, these puns are guaranteed to get a few laughs.
- Do you love math? Do you wish that there was a way to make this subject less boring? Then you need to check out these math puns!
- Is there anything spookier than a skeleton? Well, check out that these skeleton puns and you’ll discover that skeletons can also be pretty darn funny.
- Biology class might be challenging at times, but there’s still room for humor within this branch of science. Check out these biology puns and laugh your head off.
Now that your head has been filled with all kinds of Christmas puns, it’s time to get out there and try these jokes out for yourself.
These puns are guaranteed to make your holidays even more joyous, wherever you might be spending Christmas.
With these Christmas jokes, you make everyone around you laugh. And who knows? Maybe your loved ones will have a few Christmas puns of their own up their sleeves.
Whatever the case may be… Have a very merry Christmas!