
17 Knock Knock Jokes - New And Cheerful Ways To Flirt With Anyone
by Jasper Chase | Nov 12, 2021 | 0Featured
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via: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez
Let's talk about funny knock knock jokes. *Pauses for groans* Yes, we know, putting the words "funny knock knock jokes" together can seem like an oxymoron, but the fact is, knock knock jokes are funny!
In fact, they're some of the funniest jokes ever! They're just funny in a really cheesy, corny, groany sort of way.
To prove our point, we've knocked out some of our favorite funny knock knock jokes for you right here. So feel free to enjoy some great puns, awkward references, and shoe-horned punchlines, and then pick a few and share them with your friends.
You'll really knock their socks off with these!
via: Unsplash / Baylee Gramling
If you're going to tell funny knock knock jokes—and many people will tell you to ignore that impulse—you have to hit the naysayers with your best material. So, prove to the world they've misjudged your humor with these great jokes.
Here are the 20 best funny knock knock jokes:
Funny, and educational!
No, cows go moo, owls go who!
Not a joke for those with nut allergies.
No thanks, I'll have some peanuts.
Yahoo! I'm just as psyched to see you!
The punchline's right around the corner.
Avenue seen it coming?
Heidi who, hidey ho, neighbor!
What, you expect a cabbage to have a last name or what?
Candice joke make you laugh?
Candice door open, or am I stuck out here?
via: Unsplash / Jamie Brown
Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions?
Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
Try this joke, you Mennonite like it.
Aw How sweet. I miss you too.
A herd you were home, so I came over!
Barbara black sheep, have you any wool...
Aloha-ha-ha.
I’m fine, Hawaii you?
via: Unsplash / Artem Beliaikin
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Water those plants or they’re going to die!
Claire this hallway for delivery.
I don't know, you tell me!
Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let's Joe.
Three puns in one!
Doris locked that's why I am knocking!
Wash you do this time?
Dishes the Police come out with your hands up.
via: Unsplash / Ben White
There's more corn in a knock knock joke than in the entire Midwest. So, by telling these corny jokes in knock knock form, you're really just staying true to the art.
Here are 20 funny but corny knock knock jokes:
Voldemort: Exactly!
Oil be right out.
Butter be quick. I have to go to the bathroom!
This joke really shakes things up.
Ice cream soda people can hear me!
This'll really egg your audience on.
Can I have a hug and a quiche?
MOOOOOOO!!!
You’ve seen that TV show?
via: Unsplash / Ali Yahya
Alpaca the suitcase, you load the car!
Ahmed the payphone trying to call home. All of my change I spent on you.
URINEsecure don't know what for.
That's a Dolly good joke.
Parton my French!
Candice door open, or what?
Oh, buzz off, will you?
Honey bee a dear and open up, would you?
via: Unsplash / REVOLT
Alec-tricity. Ain’t that a shocker?
No, because you're gross.
Dozen anyone wanna let me in?
I butter nut tell you!
No bell so I'll knock
Even the jokes only remember the winners.
Exactly.
Daisy me rollin, they hatin’.
No thanks, I use Bing or Google.
Luke under the mat.
Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole!
via: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez
Dad jokes have become the favorite pastime of out-of-touch fathers eager to embarrass their offspring. So, get some practice in annoying your future kids with these funny knock knock jokes that are as dad-like as a Father's Day tie.
Here are 18 funny knock knock dad jokes:
Radio or not here I come!
Dad won't leaf you alone until you laugh at this one.
Lettuce in and I'll tell you!
It's already Ben done.
Phillip the gas tank please!
Not if you're a sail's man.
Canoe come out or what?
How tragic.
Euripides jeans, you pay for ’em, okay?
Water you doing? Just open the door!
via: Unsplash / Evelyn Paris
Water you doing? Just open the door!
Leaf the house, you’re not the owner anymore!
Somebody who thinks you should fix your darn doorbell!
Sorry wrong door!
Did anyone else hear an owl?
via: Unsplash / James Toose
A really Looney punchline there.
Tad's all folks!
Tad's all folks!
I thought it was elephants that didn't forget.
Rhino every knock knock joke there is!
Leena little close and I will tell you!
Really yolk it up with this one.
Eggstremely disappointed you still don’t recognize me.
My knee hurts when I run.
Aida lot of sweets and now I've got tummy ache!
via: Unsplash / JD Mason
Tis the season for trees, lights, carols, presents, and really bad jokes that make everyone wish they'd spent the holiday alone. These knock knock Christmas jokes are so bad, yule wish you'd hadn't told them all! O holy mistake!
Here are 17 funny Christmas knock knock jokes:
Wrong holiday, boat boy!
Noah good Christmas joke?
You know, your Santa impression could use a little work.
Tex, very much.
Avery merry Christmas to you!
Santa Christmas card to you. Did you get it?
Can't Comet on this one.
Anita lift, Rudolph.
via: Unsplash / Tim Gouw
Canya please get me a Christmas cookie?
Oakham all ye faithful…
Claus I can't wait any longer!
Snow way that's the right forecast.
It looks like rain, deer!
Freeze a jolly good fellow! Freeze a jolly good fellow!
Thought it might be a new Civic instead...
Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me, a partridge in a pear tree!
via: Unsplash / Joao Melo
They're all Don.
Arthur any mince pies left?
That's some really black humor.
Coal me if you hear Santa coming.
Aurora’s just come from the abominable snowman.
Doughnut open gifts until Christmas Day.
Is a jingle bell ringing?
via: Unsplash / Andrii Leonov
Funny knock knock jokes operate on simple arithmetic: presence + punchline = cringing listeners. Really hit the math home by telling these knock knock math jokes.
Here are 12 funny math knock knock jokes:
No need to make lunch we already 8.
Zeroes as fast as she can, but she still lost the boat race.
They go with cosines.
Tangents like to go to the beach.
Axis for chopping, saw is for cutting.
Möbius a big whale!
Always tough when you aren't part of the cool data set.
Outlier! We only let honest people in this house!
via: Unsplash / Dylan Fout
I don't know what you mean.
Mode the lawn. What should I do next?
Certainly if they can't curve their behavior.
Convex go to prison!
Tennis five plus five!
Is this joke even funny?
Adam up 2+2=4
Canoe help me with my maths?
No bell, that's why I knocked!
via: Unsplash / Victoria Quirk
Don't let anyone tell you you're stupid for telling funny knock knock jokes. Tell these stupid jokes, and prove it to them before they can accuse you!
Here are 12 funny but stupid knock knock jokes:
I swear I've heard this one before.
Knock Knock.
Wanda hang out with me right now?
Mind your own beeswax!
Honeycomb your hair!
Stupid you, that's who!
Fanny the way you keep saying "Who's there?"
This punchline really bugs me.
Amosquito
via: Unsplash / Samuel Myles
Sounds like a real emergency.
Police hurry it's chilly out here.
Goliath down, thou looketh tired!
Ice Cream Soda whole neighborhood can hear!
Don't make telling this joke a habit.
Nun your business!
Cargo beep beep!
Cheddar ask her out then.
Cheese a nice girl.
via: Unsplash / Kyle Head
Don't have the money to buy someone a decent birthday gift? Tell them these knock knock birthday jokes, so they disinvite you to the party!
Here are 10 funny birthday knock knock jokes:
Abbey birthday.
Crocodile it down a bit.
Alligator for her birthday was a card.
A joke that really sizzles.
Bacon a cake for your birthday!
Hippo birthday to you, hippo birthday to you.
Wanda wish you a happy birthday!
via: Unsplash / Kristina Paparo
Don't clog up the conversation with this one.
Wooden shoe like this birthday present?
Stopwatch you’re doing and have a happy birthday!
This joke dwarfs the competition.
Elf me wrap these birthday presents.
Bertha-day present just for you!
via: Unsplash / Cristina Gottardi
Getting old isn't funny, so old people have to find consolation in old people jokes. Whether you're old or old at heart, these knock knock jokes really will make you wish you could go senile a little earlier.
Here are 10 funny old people knock knock jokes:
I didn't know you could yodel!
Time really Lords it over the elderly.
No, no. Just the doctor.
Needle little help getting in the door!
Mikey isn’t working, can you let me in?
A joke full of the kind of fiber old folks need!
Turnip the volume, I love this song!
Nanna ain't in the mood today.
Nanna your business, that’s who.
via: Unsplash / Kristina Paparo
This joke really sticks with you.
Oswald my bubble gum!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Depends which way you're coven.
Witches the way to the store.
Eggstremely disappointed you still don’t recognize me.
via: Unsplash / Jamie Street
Whenever your dog refuses to follow your commands, really put him in his place with these biting knock knock dog jokes. That'll show him who's boss.
Here are 10 funny dog knock knock jokes:
Defense has a hole in it—that’s how I got into your yard!
Who's a good joke, oh, who's a good joke? You are! Oh yes, you are!
Hugh’s a good dog? Me, right?
Great, now the dogs are correcting everyone's grammar!
Not “bow who!” “Bow wow!”
Arthur any more dogs out there?
A real howler of a joke.
Senior dog digging in the trash yesterday.
via: Unsplash / Svyatoslav Romanov
At leash you could be more polite about it.
Ty up the dog before he runs away.
Ron a little faster, will you? There's a pit bull after us!
Canine ask for a hug?
Pooch your arms around me, baby!
Irish I could get a puppy!
Eileen over to pet the dog.
via: Unsplash / History in HD
We live in dark political times, so lighten everybody up with these knock knock political jokes. You'll get bipartisan agreement that you have an awful sense of humor.
Here are 9 funny political knock knock jokes:
That beers repeating.
Busch Light to congress about Weapons of Mass Destruction.
"I Eclair war."
KGB a little gentler next time?
*gets slapped* The KGB answers to no one!
Lookfer another job, Yours is goin' to China!
via: Unsplash / Matt Popovich
Ukraine make this stuff up.
Crimea river
this joke really crashes...right into the glass ceiling.
Annie thing you can do I can do for eighty-seven cents on the dollar.
Everyone's Russian to judgment on this one.
Exactly! THERE WAS NO COLLUSION!
Robin the country blind while screaming JOBS JOBS JOBS and MAGA every five seconds.
Nita pretty good lawyer to keep you outta jail
via: Unsplash / Trust "Tru" Katsande
Science can be mysterious, wonderful, and incomprehensible all at once. Science jokes can be terrible, unforgivable, and unfunny all at once. So, share away!
Here are 5 funny science knock knock jokes:
Don't listen to me I'm irrational.
Accompanied by his colleague Wattson.
Sherlock Ohms at your service.....
This joke really radiates good humor.
If you don't open this door I'm gonna split
via: Unsplash / Hans Reniers
Don't lead neon.
Nevermind, I guess all my friends Argon.
Put your dishes in the Zinc!
via: Unsplash / Lee Campbell
Tell a few of these knock knock computer jokes and remind everyone why it is they stopped listening to you and started staring at their phone all day in the first place.
Here are 9 funny computer knock knock jokes:
Even better if you get them to sing it out.
.com
Welcome to China! Home of the Great Firewall.
Amanda fix your security system.
I'll telegraph you the punchline later.
Wire you asking i just told you.
Even laugh at this joke?
Aldo anything for a video game system!
via: Unsplash / Emmanuel
Disk is a recording, please leave your message after the beep!
Ida called first, but the phone's not working.
The real joke is anyone actually choosing Bing.
No thanks, I use Bing or Google.
Stopwatch you’re doing and pay attention!
via: Unsplash / David Levêque
The military is an honored institution. Remind them why they were right not to welcome you into their midst with these Grade F military jokes.
Here are 5 funny military knock knock jokes:
GI don't know.
Army and you still friends?
Exactly.
via: Unsplash / Zhang H
Iran my brain trying to think of a reply.
Iran over here to tell you this!
You're welcome!
Still a classic all these years later.
Osama Bin in the same place too long and we got him.
via: Unsplash / Annie Spratt
Easter can be a time to bring the family together. Easter jokes are a reason for them to stay apart. You can really knock the charm out of that festive reunion with these funny knock knock jokes.
Here are 13 funny Easter knock knock jokes:
Wendy Easter Bunny Coming?
This one's drowsier than the normal.
The Ether bunny.
Ana-other Easter Bunny!
Arthur any more eggs to decorate?
This one will really slaughter your audience.
Butcher eggs all in one basket.
Dewey have to listen to any more of these bunny jokes?
via: Unsplash / Marianne Krohn
Heidi eggs around the house!
Alma Easter eggs are gone. Can I have one of yours?
What a smashing joke to tell!
Egg-cited to see me?
You really blue it with this one.
Orange you glad there are no more Easter bunny jokes?
Howie gonna get rid of all these Easter bunnies?
Hop over and find out who the culprit is!
Some bunny is eating all my Easter eggs!
Don’t cry – the Easter bunny will be back again next year!
via: Unsplash / Mike Kenneally
Needing a caffeine fix? Then you're definitely not in the mood for knock knock coffee jokes. Too bad your next cup of joe comes with a couple jokes before the black brew can work its magic.
Here are 10 funny coffee knock knock jokes:
A joke that lets everyone know who gets the first cup of coffee in the morning.
Coffee Brew for me not you.
Joe Coffee's ready!
Abraham cracker and milk would be great.
Nate yet.
Esme tea ready yet?
Philip my cup, I’m thirsty!
I'd rather Stan.
Sid down and have a cup of coffee.
via: Unsplash / Kaylah Otto
Goat to the store and pick up some milk.
Doughnut panic – this is just a joke.
Sure, it's a piece of a cake.
Don’t worry about muffin! Everything is going to be alright.
This joke is a little twisted.
Pretzel the button to ring the doorbell.
via: Unsplash / Melinda Gimpel
There's only one reason to be grateful lawyers exist in the world: they gave us a reason to create lawyer jokes. These funny knock knock jokes really set the bar high for knocking down the folks who passed the bar.
Here are 5 funny lawyer knock knock jokes:
Everybody knows that!
A slogan for everyone before they visit a lawyer.
LAWYER YOUR EXPECTATIONS TO AVOID GETTING DISAPPOINTED!
via: Unsplash / Gregory Hayes
ABYSSINIA BEHIND BARS ONE OF THESE DAYS!
Certainly true if you aren't Piggy about by the police.
Kermit a crime, and you’ll get locked up by the police.
Okay, now you say, “Control Freak who?!”
via: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez
If there's a place people would actually enjoy funny knock knock jokes, it's in the dreary, boring world of office life. So, keep your knock knocks topical with these office jokes perfect for your colleagues around the cubicle.
Here are 9 funny office knock knock jokes:
This will really cheerio the whole office.
Cereal pleasure to meet you!
Theodore wasn’t open so I knocked.
Candy door open any slower?
That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!
Yeah, you do sound kinda crazy.
via: Unsplash / Arlington Research
A joke that makes every tax agent laugh merrily.
IRS. Your house has been repossessed.
Ooh, quite the existentialist I see.
Wire we here? Why is anybody here? Let’s just have a drink.
via: Unsplash / John Cafazza
The one thing the pious and the impious can agree on is that they've had enough funny knock knock jokes for this lifetime and any other afterlife to boot. Too bad for them, you've brought knock knock church jokes that will pass muster from here to heaven.
Here are 12 funny church knock knock jokes:
Voodoo you think you are, asking me so many questions?
Buddha this slice of bread for me!
No, but I can build a decent boat.
Noah build a fast pinewood derby car?
I like the Qatar your jib, young fella.
A Bourne again Christian thats who.
Allah these stars will guide us home.
via: Unsplash / Hamid Khaleghi
What a towering joke for any crowd.
Babylon. I’m not really listening to the gibberish you’re spouting.
Jesus Christ, open the door.
Gomorrah need another joke after this one.
Sodom earlier, but didn’t talk to ’em!
I’M HOLIER THAN YOU.
What a divine joke.
Heaven seen you in ages!
Your Mooooslim friend.
via: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez
Knock knock stink as bad as old cheese, and like cheese, the stinkier the better. So, share their cheesy jokes with friends and make sure you really stink up the whole room.
Here are 2 funny but cheesy knock knock jokes:
Yeah, she's a gouda one.
Cheese a nice girl.
Can I have a hug and a quiche?
via: Unsplash / Allison Heine
Look, you're a bad dude for inflicting these funny knock knock jokes on the world, so embrace it and tell some bad jokes that will getting them laughing.
Here are 17 funny but bad knock knock jokes:
No, thanks, I’m not into scat.
Clothing for sale. Buy your socks and Nicosia
This one's really out to lunch.
Medina's on the table so I've got to go.
Ada burger for lunch!
Amy fraid I’ve forgotten!
via: Unsplash / Matheus Ferrero
This joke is really up the creek.
Wendy river bends we call it a meander.
Suckers love this joke.
Candy owner of this big red car come and move it off my drive?
Ahmed the payphone trying to call home. All of my change I spent on you.
Dishes a bad joke.
Tinker Bell is out of order!
Better Nebraska for forgiveness.
Iowa big apology to the owner of that red car!
via: Unsplash / Ben White
Sadie Pledge of allegiance. It's the 4th of July!
Well, you asked for it.
Who, who, who, who...
Water you doing in there? Open the door, please!
This joke is nothing to sneeze at.
Sounds like your coming down with a cold
a little girl who can't reach the doorbell!
That's a great T.V. show, isn't it?
via: Unsplash / Katie Treadway
Just because your knock knock fanatic doesn't mean you can't also prove to be quite witty. These funny knock knock jokes are also witty jokes that anyone (with no shame or self-regard) would be proud to share!
Here are 11 funny witty knock knock jokes:
B my guest.
X for breakfast!
Will you let me in?
They'd have to be crazy not to laugh.
Zany body home?
Honey bee a dear and get me some water.
via: Unsplash / Matthew T Rader
Alaska a friend.
Juneau the capital of Alaska?
Avenue knocked on this door before?
Doris jammed again.
Halloo to you too!
this joke's a gold mine.
Yukon go away and come back another time.
Don't dry any funny stuff!
Dishes the police! Open up!
Alpaca the suitcase, you load the car!
via: Unsplash / Anna Vander Stel
Make sure you're auld acquaintances really consider forgetting you this year by sharing your funny knock knock new years jokes with them during the countdown. You'll ring in the new year amused...and probably alone.
Here are 7 funny New Year's knock knock jokes:
Amory Christmas and a Happy New Year!
One of those jokes that works best in pears.
Apple New Year!
Hannah Happy New Year!
That's a pretty gouda one.
For cheese a jolly good fellow!
Beth wishes for a happy New Year!
A joke that really ticks.
Fleas a jolly good fellow.
Rodent see that punchline coming.
I could Gopher a cup of hot chocolate right about now.
Harvey good New Year everyone.
Holly-days are here again!
via: Unsplash / Clem Onojeghuo
You may think funny knock knock jokes are synonymous with nerd jokes, but believe it not, some knock knock jokes can be even nerdier than that. Try sharing some of these jokes and see who pulls off the best nerd laugh afterward.
Here are 11 funny knock knock nerd jokes:
Hamlet they have a minute to get this one.
Toby or not Toby, that is the question.
Karate Chop!
Aslan as they laugh, that's all that matters.
Narnia business.
Aldo anything for a video game system!
Hope this joke doesn't alienate your friends.
Wait, how many extraterrestrials do you know?
[/learn_more]
Dozen anybody want to let me in?!
via: Unsplash / Joanna Nix
Noise to see you!
Alec-tricity. Ain’t that a shocker?
Snow use askin’ when you can just open.
Nerdy and pedanctic, all in one!
It’s “to whom.”
A pun in so few syllables!
I didn’t know you liked Japanese poetry!
via: Unsplash / Matheus Ferrero
Funny knock knock jokes only work if you help them work. You can't just rely on the text to do all the work for you. As with any humor, delivery is important. So, to make sure you're telling your knock knock jokes right, following these 4 steps. Then, you can sit back and let everyone enjoy how marvelously bad your sense of humor is.
Here is how to use funny knock knock jokes:
Get ready to relish your inner dad and let one of the great dad joke forms speak through you! These jokes are designed to be bad. You want them to be bad. You want them to be so bad that they make people laugh in spite of themselves.
So, embrace your role in this, and really enjoy telling these jokes.
The key to every knock knock joke is the punchline, and that's why you need to deliver it just right. Sometimes, it's about bending the pronunciation of a word or really emphasizing an unexpected turn with your reaction.
Practice these beforehand to make sure when you tell it to others, you really communicate where the humor—such as it is—resides.
This is sort of a post joke companion point with Step 1. Often, it isn't the knock knock joke itself that makes people laugh, it's the clear, child-like amusement the joke teller displays in having made everyone listen to their punchlines.
via: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez
If the first joke falls flat, tell another. The key to getting the knock knock humor right is to practice and to show people you're a good sport who just wants to make the world smile. So, if a silent crowd knocks you flat, get back up and start knock knocking again.
Have you worn out your welcome telling funny knock knock jokes to the wrong crowd? Ingratiate yourself all over again with the comedic gems we've assembles in these articles:
Sure, you may struggle to feel the above knock knock jokes really count as among the funniest jokes ever, but did you ever stop to think maybe you're the problem? These funny knock knock jokes are great for casual conversations, lightening the mood, and just letting everyone know you don't take yourself too seriously.
So, get off your high horse, you comedy purist you, take your favorite jokes from above, and head over to a friends to share. And, hey, don't forget to knock when you get there.
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